5 things I've learnt from being a stay at home mum – Mummascribbles

I have officially been a stay at home mum for a year and a half now – ever since my year of maternity leave ended and I didn’t return to work. Of course, I was at home before I got to that stage, so in reality, I have been permanently at home with the boys for two and a half years.

When I think about that it seems crazy. Two and a half years since I last stepped into a workplace. Two and a half years since I could last guarantee that I would have a hot cup of tea, a wee in peace, and a breakfast that I didn’t have to share!

Of course, it was all I ever wanted. I worked full time when Zach was little and I know from now being home with Oscar, just how much of his early years I missed. It makes me super sad that I had to miss it, but equally, working for that period, getting our own home, and making the blog work (although the less we talk about that the better at the moment!), enabled me to find myself in the fortunate position of being able to hand my notice in. Which enabled me to be the one to take and pick him up from school every day – which is what I wanted.

And I won’t lie. I very, very nearly found myself heading back into the workplace. The blog work dried up, it is a hideously saturated market, and more months than not, my inbox is like tumbleweed. And now, the only reason I am not at work, is because the other half can fully support me financially. I do of course try hard to earn the income I was previously getting through blogging, but I know that on the months I don’t it’s not an issue – at the moment. He is a contractor. We don’t know what will happen at the end of the contract. There is no guarantee that come the end of the year, I won’t be back in some form of employment. But for now, I am a stay at home mum.

And over the last two and a half years, I have learnt a lot. Here are the main things I have learnt from being a stay at home mum.

Playgroups are a saviour

We didn’t go to many groups and classes when Oscar was a baby. We did Baby Sensory which was lovely, and Zach was still in nursery two days a week at that time so it fitted in well. I guess in the beginning, I didn’t have the confidence to take two children to groups, especially as I was still adjusting to being at home with them. My Mum would come round on a Friday and on occasion we both went to a Dinky Dancers class nearby, but other than that, I wasn’t really aware of any other groups around us.

It was only when I was chatting to my then neighbour who had a young son, and she mentioned a group at the Children’s Centre next door to Zach’s school, that I braved it and went along. And through that, I made a couple of friends, found out about other playgroups in the area, and then ended up going to one every single day! And boy they have been a lifeline. Getting out of the house, Oscar being entertained, and then napping straight after. We got ourselves into a really good routine. I now only go to three a week because the Children’s Centre stopped their group, but on playgroup days, it’s nice to know that I am going to be sitting and having a chat whilst Oscar plays and eats all the snacks!

Not using the TV as a babysitter is hard

I confess that Oscar probably watches too much TV. And the worst thing is, it’s mostly YouTube that he watches. Zach didn’t even know what YouTube was at the age of 2, but because Zach does now know – then so does Oscar. He loves Blippi and he also loves watching random animal animations change colour. In fairness, he has learnt an awful lot. He knows his numbers, he can count to 11 and he recognises certain numbers by sight, he knows all of his colours, lots of shapes, and he has known what an excavator is for ages. It’s not just a digger you know!

I do try to remember to sit down with him and do puzzles, and drawing, and reading (to be fair he sits and reads for a whole morning sometimes), but so often that TV comes on and I really need to stop that!

Naps are sacred

I always knew naps were important but when you are a stay at home mum, they are sacred. It is the only time of the day that I get to myself. To sit and work. Eat my lunch in peace. To have a little clean. He usually naps for around about two hours, and when on days he decides to wake after an hour and a half, I feel like I have been robbed! He did threaten to drop his naps a while ago, but it seems to have been a small blip.

I remember when Zach was little and I had to break the news to my Mum (who looked after him three days a week) that he didn’t need a nap anymore and I felt terrible. He was just about to turn three, so I am hoping that Oscar goes the same way and that I still have at least eight months of nap times ahead of me!

It is so hard to keep the house tidy

Keeping the house clean is do-able. But keeping it tidy is just a nightmare when you have a small child at home. I don’t know about your children, but Oscar is currently in a phase of just making a mess. He stands at his play kitchen, picks up a basket of food and just pours it all over the floor. If I get building blocks out, he plays with them for five minutes and then scatters them all around the room. And somehow, the ruddy sofa cushions always end up on the floor.

The other half sometimes comes home from work (or down the stairs on work from home days), and instantly starts tidying up the toys. Only for them to be all over the floor again five minutes later. I always ask him why he bothers and I think he has finally realised that tidying up too far ahead of bedtime is a lost cause.

Their bedtime is a constant countdown away

This is especially the case from the moment Zach gets home from school. It’s like 3 hours of chaos. Of them playing nicely one minute, and screaming at each other the next. Of fighting to get them to eat their dinner. Trying to not allow them to sit on the tablet and iPad for the entire evening, and then finally getting to shower time but knowing that you still have to wrestle them into their pj’s and get them to brush their teeth. Oh and then four stories and a million ways to do kisses and cuddles before the lights finally go out.

Honestly, when you are at home with kids all day, that moment they have finally drifted off into a sleep is the moment you feel your shoulders drop down a bit.

I do love being at home with my boys. Even though most days they drive me up the wall – and sometimes I am left wanting to reach for a bottle glass of wine, I do feel very fortunate that I am currently in the position that I am in. Although I may also be counting down the time until Oscar goes to pre-school. Only a little bit though!

Are you are stay at home Mum? What is one thing you have learnt from your time at home?

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