Childcare – a mummy's experience! – Mummascribbles

Choosing childcare is a big deal. There are so many options out there between nurseries, childminders, au pairs, nannies. Most people opt for a childminder or nursery but where on earth do you start and how do you make that final decision to entrust the most precious thing in your life with strangers?

We’ve had to go through choosing childcare twice as we have lived in two different areas. I didn’t consider a childminder in the first area – I wanted him to go to a nursery. There were 3 nurseries nearby that were possibilities but for some reason we only went to visit one. Upon visiting this one, I knew that it was the right one. I just had a gut feeling that he would be happy there. The staff were all very welcoming, the building was big and bright inside with pictures all over the wall. Sometimes I wonder if I was silly only looking at this one but luckily my gut was right and he was incredibly happy there. The staff loved him, he settled in brilliantly and for one day a week I happily dropped him off safe with the knowledge that he was going to have a great day. He was only in that nursery for 6 months and the staff were incredibly sad when he left, as was I.

And so when we moved house, it was time for the search to begin again. The only downside to the exact location of our house was that there wasn’t really any nurseries within easy walking distance. Well, there was one but it had such a bad Ofsted report that I didn’t even consider sending him there. I had been told not to really go by what Ofsted say but the main concern of this particular nursery was regarding the safety measures and so I was in no way risking it!

We visited one nursery quite early on as they happened to have an open day. It was a big branded, top of the range, brand new nursery, kind of within walking distance for Dean but I just didn’t like it. It sounds ridiculous but everything was wooden. I like wooden but a bit of colour is important for children and there was none of it. Everything was spotless and it just felt like they didn’t get down and mucky – something I think is important for kids. They had no space for us anyway and charged a fortune so it was best that we didn’t like it!

After lots more research, I found three other nurseries and one childminder within a reasonable vicinity. Again, I hadn’t really considered a childminder up until there was a lack of nearby nurseries but even this one was a drive away. The other half and I took a day off work and were booked in to see all three nurseries – the childminder had a sick child (one of the main reasons I hadn’t considered using one!).

The first nursery we went to see was too small. It was lovely, just tiny. It consisted of two rooms and a very small garden. The children all looked like they were having a ball, and Zach joined in with a gluing activity (in which he ate the glue!) but it just didn’t seem like there was enough breathing space. We all walked out and we knew it wasn’t the right one (despite it being the nearest!).

The next nursery, we immediately loved. It was like walking into the one he was already in which was a big winner in terms of transition between the two. The manager was lovely. The staff were lovely. The building was huge, as were the rooms inside. There was colour everywhere, photos of the children doing a range of activities on the wall and the delicious smell of homemade shepherd’s pie coming from the kitchen, all cooked by one lady in a spotless kitchen. We were impressed, seriously impressed and got the impression that Zach didn’t want to leave. In fact, we’d snuck downstairs to discover the huge garden, leaving Zach upstairs and he didn’t even realise we’d gone! It all seemed so familiar. The only downside was that it was a drive away but it was on a bus route for Dean if he needed it.

The final nursery had sounded lovely. They had a very impressive website, were further into the countryside and spoke about growing vegetables and playing out in the fields. The reality was less impressive. I wasn’t completely enthralled with the manager, the building was a giant porta cabin and yes, the outdoor area was fab but it was also in the middle of nowhere; an absolute nightmare for Dean to ever get to and a nightmare in bad weather! Again, it was an instant no from us.

We knew that the second nursery was the one. We loved it so much and really wanted Zach to go there. We knew that on one of the days we needed, there was only one space left so we drove back, filled in the form and paid the deposit. Bam, he was all booked in. The childminder went out the window, which wasn’t a problem because I much preferred the convenience of a nursery.

I cannot even begin to explain how happy we have been with our choice of current nursery. Zach absolutely loves it. I have no doubt that even if he’s going through a stage where he gets a bit upset when I leave him, or is a little bit unsettled after a room change (he went from Teenies to Toddlers in September and is still getting used to it), within seconds of being there he is absolutely fine and has a wonderful day. I know that when I pick him up, he comes bounding over to me, sometimes with whatever he has been playing with. He has a little bunch of friends who are slowly moving up to his new class and I can’t wait for them to all be together again. He even has a birthday party invite from one of his best buddies sitting at home although sadly I don’t think we can make it.

Like I said, choosing childcare is a huge decision. It’s a scary decision and one that you want to get right first time so there are no major upheavals while they are trying to settle in. I guess we have been lucky that we have chosen right both times but here are a few of my thoughts in choosing good childcare.

Nursery or childminder?
For me, there was no question that I wanted him to go to nursery. Like I said earlier, I hadn’t even considered a childminder up until I thought it might be necessary. My main reason was reliability. Other than at Christmas, nursery are always open. If your childminder falls sick, you have to find an alternative. If your childminder’s children fall sick, you have to find an alternative. If your childminder goes on holiday, you have to find an alternative. That said, I think there is a better bond between a childminder and the children. I know some text you throughout the day which is also lovely although you can always phone the nursery for an update.

Location
Obviously a very important one but are there any negotiations to be made over the location. My drive to nursery takes about 5 minutes, the drive back home to the station is about 20 minutes (because of traffic). For Dean, it’s a bus ride which Zach loves. I am the main one to do the nursery run but if I’m away Dean has to do it. We had to sacrifice an easy walk for him for a lovely nursery.

Staff
It’s pretty obvious but you have to be happy with all of them. I mentioned that at one nursery I wasn’t impressed with the manager. She knew we were coming but had no idea how old Zach was and started showing us the baby room in depth because she thought that’s where he’d be. There was a girl in another nursery showing us around and she made it very clear that she was anti reins. I know a lot of people don’t like them but if you are a parent that uses them, she would have made you feel very bad for doing so!

There wasn’t one member of staff I met at his current nursery that I didn’t instantly like and there is still not one that I could say anything bad about.

Atmosphere
This is important. If you don’t sense a nice atmosphere, you don’t want your child to go there. Do the children seem happy? Are they busy doing activities or are they wandering around looking a little lost, a little bored, a little ignored? You really want your child to be at ease in their new surroundings.

Things to note (from experience)

* The settling in period will be fine. Your child will be happy, they’ll have a ball. The first few drop off’s will be fine, you’ll think it’s all going to plan and then bam, they’ll cry on the next one. And then they’ll keep crying every drop off for a period of time. But, they will stop crying. The staff will distract them and within a few moments, they’ll have forgotten you were even there. The key thing I find is that I can’t hover. I take Zach in, I quickly tell them he’s fine, or tired, or to use a certain cream and that’s it. I kiss him and I’ve gone. If I hover, he gets upset. If I need to have a proper chat with them about anything, I do it when I pick him up or I ask them to nip outside so he thinks I’ve gone.

If he is crying, I wait outside and hear that within seconds, he’s stopped and is fine. It’s normally because breakfast has been served and food is more important than remembering that mummy has gone!

* They will have sudden periods where they don’t want you to leave them. It may be because of a room change, it may be because they are having a clingy period. It will come out of the blue, all will be fine for weeks, months, and then suddenly one day, they decide they are not going to make it easy for you. They will however be fine and they will stop this period, it might take a while but it will end.

* When they do cry because they don’t want you to go, it will rip your heart out. You will feel horrendous. You will feel like you need to give up your job and be a stay at home mum. If you do feel like this, when you get to work, give them a call and check in. I have no doubt you’ll be told your child is busy having fun.

* They will need a bath on nursery days! If they only go part time and they don’t have a bath every night, schedule no bath night for non nursery days! The last two nursery days, I have had a mission washing lots of sand out of Zach’s hair and he usually has food all over him! For me though, him being mucky is a sign he’s had a good day!

Overall, I couldn’t be more happy with Zach being in nursery and I think it is great for children to go. He has developed so much since he has been in this new one, his speech is amazing, his confidence is great (although he has shy moments too) and he is incredibly happy. I love that he has friends, I love that he talks about them when he’s not there and I love picking him up and seeing my happy bouncing boy. I can’t wait for the day when he can properly tell me all about his day.

I’d love to hear your experiences, hints and tips for others to read – I know it’s sometimes not all as joyous as I’ve found it!