Mummascribbles meets…When the Dust Settles – Mummascribbles
I have a special mummascribbles meets today with both Ashley and Zoe from When the Dust Settles. I thought it would be interesting to feature them both on one blog. They informed me that they didn’t read each others answers until they had both finished! Enjoy!
First up is Ashley!
Tell me a little bit about yourself and your family.
We’re what would be called a blended family these days (although as my son replied the other day when I said we were blended “no, we are just family dad” we were watching blended at the time), I have two boys from my previous marriage and Zoe and I have one daughter between us (sadly the boys are not with us full time). We were friends before partners and are technically married, just to other people, even though we have been together for 10 years. We share a lovely house with my mother (who moved in with us after the death of her husband in 2013, for Zoe to except her living here is one of the nicest things she has done, it is never easy sharing your home with another mother).
What do you like doing to be you, when you are not parenting, working (if you do), or blogging?
I’m a naturalist and photographer in my spare time, so if I’m not working, blogging or looking after the kids I’ll be out in a field or by a lake somewhere, photographing anything I find that crawls or flies. I actually take a very good photo (even if I do say so myself) especially when it comes to Dragonflies and Butterflies.
What is your biggest achievement to date?
Apart from raising good kids, I guess it would be having had some photos published in various magazines.
From your own experiences, what do you find the hardest part of parenting and what is the easiest/most rewarding part?
For me the early years are the toughest part of parenting, I didn’t cope well with crying babies (thankfully that’s done now), once a child is able to communicate is when I start to excel as a dad. I love talking with my kids, having a great conversation where they are telling you something or you are teaching them something is the most rewarding part of parenting for me. Really talking to kids is something I swear by, I’ve always spoken to them like normal people which has allowed them to learn a decent vocabulary at young ages (although my teenager seems to have lost a lot of this and replaced it with grunts).
Parenting in itself is no mean feat; how do you juggle everything you need to in order to get everything done on a daily basis?
We are very lucky as parents, I work shifts so am at home a lot during the day, and Zoe’s work has been incredibly flexible allowing her to dictate her hours around my shifts which means most days one of us is able to look after the kids, when we can’t my mum (who lives with us) is able to step in. Housework just generally gets done when needed, my tip for that is don’t iron, life is too short.
Why did you decide to start blogging?
I originally started blogging to show off my wildlife photos (on a different blog), but I seemed to be saying more and more that was political or about the kids, and as I was starting to think about a new direction Zoe decided she would like to do something we could work on together, and so we came up with When the Dust Settles, it would be our joint voice to the world.
Tell me a bit about your blog?
Hmm… What to say… With there being two of us writing posts you get double the amount of voices speaking to you (although we have so far not written a post together, which gives me an idea!).
What you get from us is sometime serious, sometimes tongue in cheek, we seem to cover a lot of everything from tales of our lives and days out, to posts about being a better dad and a lot of advocating the fatherhood movement (for anyone who doesn’t know what that means it is basically dads stepping up to the plate and co-parenting properly, as well as trying to convince others to do so). We have lots of posts about the kids mixed in with the odd review, and of course a load of photos (taken by me).
Having two voices writing for the blog could be a little confusing, but the reality is if you tire of one of our styles there is always the other persons posts to read, it’s a bit like having guest bloggers (something we have not yet done, being quite new, but which we are open to). We are planning to run a couple of linky’s when we are more established, one each for mums and dad posts, so keep your eyes open for those.
What do you want your blog to achieve and where do you hope to see it go as it grows?
My personal dream is that one day it could become my full time job (I think Zoe knows this) I love writing and this would see me away from shifts (which are taking a toll on the body now at nearing 40).
What advice would you give someone who is thinking about starting a blog?
Just go for it, blogging and writing is a great way to express yourself, and get things off your chest (if needs be). Always write from the heart and don’t worry about the haters out there, in a world of near 7 billion there will always be some.
If you could have dinner with three people (dead or alive), who would it be and why?
Stephen Fry, I think it is pretty obvious why, but to hear him talk always mesmerises me; Phoebe Snetsinger, I can see you asking who already, she was (before her death) the person who had seen the most species of bird in the world and lived an amazing and sometimes frightening life; and Brian Blessed, any man who has boxed with the Dalai Lama is someone I want to talk to!
Tell me three random facts about you
1. I once ate Limpets while on holiday in Madeira (most fowl thing ever, like chewing seawater).
2. I, and some friends, were held at gunpoint by the Police in bedfordshire after a massive swat team was scrambled after seeing 4 men enter the woods, late at night, carrying guns (they were tripods), and I’ve never been so scared!
3. It used to be possible to hold full blown conversations with me when I was asleep (I had no idea the next day).
Next up is Zoe
Tell me a little bit about yourself and your family.
My name is Zoe Halliday I’m 38 and I like wine!!… opps I digress, I’m a Mum to a very vocal, wilful and energetic 5 year old and a step mum to 2 wonderful boys 11 and 15. We also live with Granny (mother-in-law) due to her tragically losing her husband.
I have been with Ashley for nearly 10 years and still love him as much as I did then. I still get butterflies when I receive a surprise text and I am often overwhelmed with love when I see him being the perfect Dad as he always is. He may be getting his nails painted AGAIN by our 5 year old or talking to the boys about the right and wrong way to treat girls. I have a wonderful relationship with him that is based on lots of love, respect and humour.
I’m a full time worker at a local GP surgery and am very new to blogging. My other half has been blogging for a while, and while I have toyed with the idea of doing something together before, it was a bout of pneumonia that left me bored and housebound and it was then the blog was born.
I blog as I speak and sometimes that can be perceived as funny, sometimes it can be seen as being outspoken. I think of myself as honest, opinionated and very chatty (it always amazes when people compare my daughters attributes to mine… I don’t know what they mean!!)
What do you like doing to be you, when you are not parenting, working (if you do), or blogging?
Although I love my work, my real passion is my family. I love my kids and enjoy spending time with them. It could be board games, watching films, going on long nature walks or just chatting. It more often than not entails me telling my daughter to stop beating up her brothers or telling the children collectively to be careful they don’t break Daddy as they all bundle him for a play fight.
I have been thinking about getting myself a hobby for some me time…..then the little one decided she wanted to join the local Rainbows group and Bletchley Dragons Karate group. I guess when I’m not parenting/blogging I will be catching up on some reading while waiting for kids clubs to finish.
What is your biggest achievement to date?
This is a very broad question! I will give the answer as the very first thing that popped into my head when I read the question. “Getting pregnant and surviving the pregnancy.”
“OMG” I hear you say “another mum who thought that her pregnancy was worse than everyone else” “thought she was the only woman in the world to get pregnant” and while I agree that there are some pregnant ladies that those labels may be relevant to, I was told that I would never conceive, was off work with extreme morning sickness from week 11 and had antenatal depression.
Fortunately I didn’t harm myself or my unborn baby due to the depression (I could have easily I was so ill) and my sickness and depression didn’t carry on to post natal.
From your own experiences, what do you find the hardest part of parenting and what is the easiest/most rewarding part?
The hardest part for me is the discipline. I find that they can wrap me round their fingers easily. A quick pep talk from Ash normally sets me straight, but I do find it hard. The easiest thing is that I’m naturally the “good guy” because I always say yes!
The most rewarding part is seeing the boys grow up into kind, caring, intelligent young adults and my daughter learning and retaining so much and enjoying nature and the world around her.
Parenting in itself is no mean feat; how do you juggle everything you need to in order to get everything done on a daily basis?
We work as a team. We all pull together to make things work. Sometimes it is a balancing act and our daughter does demand a lot of attention.
I also have a very understanding employer who also works my rota around Ash’s.
Why did you decide to start blogging?
I saw the enjoyment that Ash got out of blogging but never had confidence in my ability to write. As I said earlier a bout of illness lead to me writing my first post and with a lot of support from Ash I have never looked back.
Tell me a bit about your blog?
Our blog is US. It’s our family life. If we use it, we review it. If it’s happened we post it honestly and frankly. It’s not unusual for Ash’s repeated requests, such as “stop licking your brother” to be transformed into a post.
What do you want your blog to achieve and where do you hope to see it go as it grows?
As a newbie to the blogging world I am satisfied with any tiny positive recognition to boost my fragile confidence.
What advice would you give someone who is thinking about starting a blog?
Bite the bullet and do it. It’s fun and kind of cathartic to vent. The social aspect has also been surprising, I now have lots of new like minded blogging buddies.
If you could have dinner with three people (dead or alive), who would it be and why?
1. Adolf Hitler – I’d poison his food to make him violently ill, with my cooking that’s not exactly a stretch and I would segregate him by making him eat said food, facing the wall sat at a child’s table while being repeatedly beaten with a stick. Petty? Too much?? Definitely not too soon!! (please replace Adolf with BNP or any other racist organisation or figurehead, I’m have no prejudices)
2. Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes – (I don’t care what you say they come as one)I find these two together hilariously funny and would happily spend time chatting rubbish with them. Laughing is something that I enjoy and these two give it to me by the bucket load.
3. His Holiness the 14th Dali Lama – I am not religious but this man is amazing, his capacity for empathy and kindness is staggering and something that I aspire to, I’m a typical taurean with a mean stubborn streak. One of my goals is to travel to line up and meet him and get my red bracelet before I kick the bucket (or he does)
Tell me three random facts about you.
1. I recently sparked a gas leak alert at work, called out gas engineers and nearly had the whole surgery evacuated before my colleague confessed that the smell was a garlic loaf on her desk.
2. I got stuck on the bridge of the river kwai. The height made me drop to my knees and I had to be “rescued” by a lovely little Thai lady. The sad thing is, it’s not that high up!!!!
3. I asked my daughter if she could think of an interesting fact about me and she said “you have long soft hair” so there you go!
You can find Ashely and Zoe at www.whenthedustsettles.co.uk and also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Google+
