Mummascribbles – The day our lives changed – Mummascribbles

Three years ago today, our lives changed forever.

Three years ago today, I was looking at a little pink line.

Three years ago today, I was looking at a second digital reading that said 3 weeks.

Three years ago today, I found out I was pregnant.

I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.

I remember being utterly convinced that my period was coming. I’d come off the pill in the August after being on it for 11 consecutive years and I remember the lengthy cycles. The waiting 40 odd days for a period to come, all the while wondering if I was pregnant. Taking a pregnancy test only to get the negative result and feeling sad that it hadn’t happened.

I remember starting to get panicky that it wasn’t going to happen, even though we’d only been trying for a couple of months. I know people that have waited ten years to get their positive but there was me worrying after a couple of months that I couldn’t have children, something I had dreamed about since forever.

I remember having a conversation three days before we got our result, telling the other half’s parents to book our trip to Warners for the following October, Warners being exclusively adult only. They didn’t know we were trying and they were desperately trying to get us to book and I really thought my period was coming and I really didn’t want to do a midweek test before rushing off to work, just in case I was wrong! I told the other half that after 44 days of that cycle, I would do a test at the weekend. I’m bloody glad I waited!

I remember that Saturday morning arriving and going into the bathroom leaving the other half in the front room waiting and wondering. I remember peeing on that stick and waiting what felt like hours. I remember placing it face down so I couldn’t keep staring at it, convinced it was going to be another disappointing negative.

I remember turning it over a couple of minutes later and seeing that line. The line I had been dying to see for the last three months.

I remember the tears that immediately formed. Tears of utter joy and at the same time, tears of OH MY GOD!!

I remember sitting there thinking that I needed to get out of the bathroom and tell the other half.

I remember the exact words I said to him when I walked back into the front room…

There might be a reason why I haven’t had a period yet…

I remember the look on his face that said a thousand words, that said, really? She’s pregnant? OH MY GOD!

I remember him walking over to me and giving me the biggest hug ever.

I remember us getting ourselves showered and dressed and then going for a big long walk to get our heads around it. Because even though it was completely planned and completely wanted, it is still a life changing moment when you realise you are going to be bringing a little person into the world.

I remember us discussing on our walk, when we would tell our close family and we agreed that we’d just do it that day.

I remember him calling ahead to his parents to check they were home, turning up and him telling them to sit down, but before they managed to sit down, they guessed it was big news and so it kind of blighted the first announcement. I remember their hugs and their congratulations and our apologies that we wouldn’t be able to go on that holiday after all!

I remember going to my parents, surprising them as I didn’t want any more guesses! I remember my dad was in the middle of wiping up the dishes (or something equally mundane) and when he tried to escape, me saying, no wait, I have a question for you. I remember their faces showing a thought of, oh what does she want now! And then I remember asking them how they fancied being grandparents again! My mum’s face realising what I’d just said, saying No (in a happy shocked way!). Me nodding my head and us both bursting into a teary cuddle with her saying oh Lisa. I remember the look on my dad’s face, that look of a proud granddad and then having a big hug with him, not knowing at that point that he would never meet his grandson.

I remember my sister and her little family turning up an hour or so later, who we’d waited for so we could tell them too. I remember her walking in and saying what are you doing here? And then I remember saying again, I have a question for you…how do you fancy being an auntie?

I remember her squeal of delight. Her repeated OH MY GOD’s, the look on my nephew’s face when he realised what I was telling him and my brother in law offering his happy congratulations. My sister knew that we were trying but she never pressed for information so there was still a huge element of surprise there.

I remember getting home and the other half calling his brother and saying I’ve got some news and his brother pre-empting again by saying, she’s not pregnant is she?! What was it with his family pre-empting it all for goodness sake!

And then we were alone and home.

And we were pregnant.

We were going to be a mummy and a daddy.

The happiest and scariest thought of all.

I remember calling the doctors on the Monday morning. The agonising wait for the midwife to call (which only happened when I chased up at 11 weeks!).

I remember the agonising wait for the first scan.

I remember hearing the heartbeat for the first time and seeing that little thing wiggling inside my tummy.

I remember feeling the first movements.

My bump slowly appearing.

I remember the agonising wait for the 20 week scan, then finding out we were having a boy.

I remember those long last weeks, working and commuting whilst heavily pregnant. Driving to a conference with my hospital bag in the boot just in case!

I remember finding out he was breech. Being booked in for the c-section and then the agonising wait until that day I knew I’d become a mummy.

I remember feeling sick with nerves in the hospital, waiting around until it was our turn.

And then I remember the indescribable emotional joy, the floods of tears that came from both of us when we saw our beautiful boy for the first time.

I remember him being taken away for a clean up and then being reunited and never ever wanting to let him go.

I remember spending that whole first night staring at his utter perfection and when the other half arrived the next morning, desperate to see his new little family.

I remember it all like it was yesterday.

Every single moment from that day I saw that little pink line.

I’ll remember it forever.

That day that changed our lives.

Tags: anniversary, pregnancy, birth, life changing