Mummascribbles – The threenager – I love him but jeez!! – Mummascribbles
Before I begin, I need to make a declaration. I love being a mum. I adore my boy. My heart bursts several times a day with how utterly delicious he is and how utterly proud he makes me. He is funny, gorgeous, smart, cheeky. He is my life and I would do absolutely anything for him. I love him more than I ever thought it was possible to love a human being.
BUT…
My god, dealing with a threenager is a whole other level of parenting. A whole other level of patience testing. He is driving me bonkers! And you know what’s bad? I don’t even spend every day with him. I spend 2 whole days with him and a couple of hours in the mornings and evenings. That’s not a lot of time and in that time he manages to wind me up something chronic. There are several things he is doing right now, some that are down to his inquisitive nature and some down to his downright persistence. All of it though, is because he is three. And I totally get that. It just doesn’t help me in the moment that he’s driving me potty! So, what’s he doing you may be thinking. Here is an insight into life with a three year old.
Questions (including the dreaded why)
They come thick and fast. It is question after question after question. But, no answer is good enough and they will continue to drag information out of you until you want to scream.
Zach: Are we home yet?
Me: No
Zach: Why?
Me: Because we’re not
Zach: But why?
Me: Because we are still driving there
Zach: Have we been past the boats yet?
Me: No not yet
Zach: Why?
Me: Because we haven’t got that far yet
Zach: Oh, where are the boats?
Me: They are just round the corner
Zach: What round this corner here
Me: Well no not this corner but they aren’t far
Zach: Are we home yet?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
We also regularly have this one:
Zach: Is that our house?
Me: No that’s not our house
Zach: Yeah it is, over there, that’s our house
Me: Ok, fine, that’s our house!
And then there is the please. I love how my boy is very polite but good grief!
Zach: Can we phone nannie
Me: We’ve literally just left her house, let’s leave nannie alone for some peace
Zach: Nooooo, I want to phone nannie. Please phone nannie (there are normally tears at this point!)
Me: Zach, we are not phoning nannie. We are driving home and nannie is probably in the garden with the dogs.
Zach: Please
Me: No
Zach: But pleeeeeease
Me: No please just let’s leave nannie alone
Zach: Pleeeeeeeeease
Me: Oh for gods sake, ok we’ll phone nannie.
When nannie doesn’t answer, probably because she’s having a well earned peaceful wee after having my three year old all day…
Zach: Can we phone nannie again now. She might be by the phone again.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
The inability to listen
Zach has a real issue with listening. He just won’t do it. If I’m trying to explain to him the reasoning behind why he can’t have something or why he can’t do something, he whinges, he pleads, he talks over me so he can’t even hear what I’m saying! I say to him (like they do a nursery), put your listening ears on, but it just doesn’t work. In fact, sometimes the following happens.
Me: Zach, you need to listen to me, put your listening ears on please
Zach: OK (he pretends to flick a switch by each ear and turn them on)
I start to explain the reasoning and he flicks the bloody switch again and says “ooops, they’ve gone off again”.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Seriously, this kid!
The refusal of doing things he’s asked to do
Ok, scenario one here is when he’s thrown something on the floor. It might be because it was in his way or it might be through anger. Whatever the reason, I try to stand my ground and make him pick it up. It involves a lot of me saying pick it up and a lot of him saying no. This can go on for ten minutes. Sometimes he’ll walk away, sometimes I’ll make him sit down and wait until he’s ready. He does generally pick it up in the end but it’s not through sheer persistence of not wanting to.
Scenario two is getting dressed. If he could, he would spend the whole day in his pyjamas! I mean, I get it…they are super comfy aren’t they and we all love a pj day! The problem is when it becomes a battle to get him out of them and into clothes. I’ve had him clinging onto his cuffs for dear life, with me trying to detach his clasped fists. These children are mighty strong but he forgets that mummy is stronger! I am unsure of why he can’t just get dressed and makes it into a god awful battle!
The sheer determination not to apologise when he’s done something wrong
He knows he’s done something wrong, he acts completely different and goes quiet, generally hunched into his shoulders. If you try and get him to apologise though it’s an instant “no”. If you tell him to come over so you can speak to him, it’s a “no”. He will stand at the other end of the room, adamant that he will not move from that spot. His insistence is quite remarkable, if only it wasn’t so bloody frustrating! Once again I stand my ground and will happily wait for 10 minutes until he’s decided that the time is right to apologise but it is the longest 10 minutes ever.
And finally…
The constant hunger
Good grief this child is hungry. All the time. He spends the whole day asking for food. On Sunday, he had just finished a decent serving of a roast dinner and he immediately told us he was still hungry. He doesn’t stop eating and by around lunchtime, we’ve run out of food to give him! And then he just keeps saying pleeeeeeease!!
I‘d always heard about the threenage years but it is a lot harder than I’d anticipated. I guess it’s my punishment for getting through the “terrible twos” with ease!
A wonderful quote I spotted over on the Make up to Motherhood blog recently was “This too shall pass”. I need to print this and stick it everywhere, to remind myself that just like every other trialling time we have come across, this too will pass. I just hope it passes quickly!
I’d love to hear the tales of your threenagers. Come on, make me feel better!