Mummascribbles – This too shall pass…never a truer word spoken! – Mummascribbles

It is a phrase that us parents hear time and time again.

When we are going through the throes of a really crappy time, whether it be having a bad sleeper, a fussy eater, an older child that won’t listen. We turn to our friends. We turn social media. We turn to fellow mums. And amongst hearing or reading their own experiences, we are always told, 

This too shall pass 

At the time, it seems so cliche. It seems like it’s just the thing people say to make you feel better when you are struggling at parenting. 

But it’s true. 

It is true. 

This too shall pass…I promise! 

Since Oscar was three months old, sleep has been an issue.

First off he was spending every evening attached to me downstairs. He would spend the whole evening suckling away at my boobs and at times it was agonising. 

Next, we were co-sleeping. So not only did I have him on me every evening but I had him next to me all night! This was fine (ish) when he wasn’t mobile but then he started rolling and I would wake up with him squished up against me whilst the other half was almost hanging off the edge of the bed! To say it was uncomfortable is a bit of an understatement! 

Then there were the naps. He was napping on me, falling asleep on the boob and having really decent naps because he was super snuggled. If I tried to put him anywhere, he would wake up instantly. 

We had one small bit of progress when I decided to feed him to sleep upstairs and leave him on our bed. Sometimes he would stay asleep and sometimes he would wake after half an hour when he realised I was no longer there! But again, he started rolling and suddenly that was a pretty unsafe option. 

Two weekends ago, we decided it had to change. Well, I say we, it was the other half. As soon as Oscar started moving around, the other half was not comfortable with him being in our bed. I totally got it but at the same time, it wasn’t him that would have to keep getting up. Only I seem to be able to settle Oscar and so it was basically falling on me and me alone to get this sleep thing sorted. 

So that weekend, at bedtime, I popped Oscar in his cot. I actually managed to soothe him to sleep that night without the boob and he stayed asleep. I can’t remember for how long, but he successfully fell asleep in his cot and stayed there for a while. The next night I fed him to sleep, popped him in and again he slept. And the next night, and the one after. He has been sleeping in his cot, in the evening for a couple of weeks. If he wakes up, I go up, settle him back to sleep and he is in his cot again. I have had my evenings back, I have had two hands for blogging, and most importantly, I have managed to regularly eat dinner without having to worry about dropping food on his head!

There are still nights that he wakes up after half an hour. Sometimes he manages and hour, sometimes two, and on occasion, a whole evening! But now, all it takes is for me to re-settle him and he stays in his cot. Well, except for a few nights ago when he was clearly struggling somewhat and ended up asleep on daddy on the sofa! 

There are also the nights when I fall asleep feeding him in bed and so he ends up co-sleeping with us again! But all in all, we have huge success in his sleeping. 

Also, his daytime naps are getting better. It is rare for him to fall asleep on me now. Quite often he’ll fall asleep in his pushchair, sometimes in the house and other times outside on a walk. Sometimes he’ll stay asleep when we get home from nursery in the morning rather than wake up after half an hour. Heck, on the morning of the day that I am writing this, he slept for over an hour and a half in his car seat. I have also been making an effort to get him to sleep in the day in his cot. He may only stay in there for half an hour but it is all progress. 

When during those frustrating evenings I desperately turned to my mummy friends for help, more often than not, I was told that this too shall pass. I didn’t believe it. You never do. Even though I have already been parenting for four years, knowing that these things never last, I still didn’t believe it when they told me. The exhaustion, the frustration – it made me believe that we would be co-sleeping until he was 15. That I would never eat a meal again with two hands. That my blog was going to fail because by god it takes a long time to write a post one handed.

But it’s true, this too shall pass…this too has (almost) passed. More challenges will come our way but for now, our little man is in his cot. And of course, despite all of that, despite us conquering it, I miss it a bit! Those evening snuggles! I don’t want them back, well, at least not regularly, but I do miss them. The warmth of him. The feeling of his little breaths. The nuzzling into my boobs. My baby boy needing his mummy in her entirety. He still needs me. Still needs the reassurance of me going to settle him, of going to feed him. But he doesn’t need me as much as he did.

I’d better start planning the next one*!

*Note to the other half. I am kidding…the pain of that episiotomy has not left my memory yet! You are safe**.

**For now! 

Update…since typing this, he’s had a couple of unsettled nights, maybe teething…maybe just a bit snotty. There have been more cuddles late in the evening and through the night but it is still far far less than it was just three weeks ago!!