Mummascribbles – Working mums – Bubba Blue and Me – Mummascribbles

I have been a working mum for more than three years now and am currently at the start of my second maternity leave. Some days being at full time work for those three years was extremely difficult while on others it was nice to be able to sit and have a hot cup of tea without having to wipe a nose or change a bum! I know there are a heck of a lot of working mums out there, some who love it, some who hate it and others who are somewhere in the middle. I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how others feel about being a working mum and maybe we can all learn a little something about dealing with that dreaded mummy guilt!

This week we have Emma from Bubba Blue and Me answering all of those working mummy questions! 

Tell me a little bit about who is in your family
Other than me, there’s the OH who I’ve been married to for 12 years, and N our 5 year old son.  The OH doesn’t feature on the blog – he doesn’t see the point and doesn’t want to see himself online.

What age were your children when you returned to work? 
N was 11 1/2 months old.

Did you return to a job away from the home or within the home?
Outside the home.

Did you choose to return or did your circumstances force you back? 
It didn’t occur to me not to go back to work.  I chose to because I think it’s important for me as a person, plus I’d have no money to do all the things we can do now without worrying too much.  Oh and if I didn’t work, it’d be expected that I’d do perfect housework all the time!

Did you return to work full or part time? 
I went back slightly shorter hours – 31 hours over 4 1/2 days (although I’m now in a different job and full time at 35 hours).

What childcare do you have in place and how did you go about choosing it?  
When I first returned to work, N was in day nursery 3 days a week and with my sister in law for 2 days for a year.  Then he went for those 2 days to the local nursery school.  But on Thursdays one of the nursery staff would bring him home and look after him for an hour or so until one of us got home.  It did get a little complicated paying 3 different childcare providers but worked out really well for giving N a well rounded experience.

I wanted a day nursery rather than a childminder to ensure that the whole year was covered, and that there wouldn’t be problems if a staff member was ill and childcare being cancelled.  I’d intended on 5 days a week at a nursery in town, but the OH had then planned the sister-in-law so he could pop in during the day and have his coffee breaks there to see N, so it all changed just before.

Now N is in school and things are still complicated.  I compress my hours slightly so start earlier 3 days when N goes to morning club at school. And after school 4 days a week, N goes to after school club which the village nursery runs.  

What do you find the most difficult about being a working mum? 
Coordinated childcare, holiday club when the child decides they’re too old for standard holiday club, and having a OH who doesn’t do pick ups or take any interest in school.  If I need someone to step in and ask him, he’ll get Granny to do it, or call on my sister in law.  Oh and once they start school, parents get asked to come to so many events, it’s hard to know which ones to go to.

How do you deal with the working mummy guilt? 
I don’t feel any guilt.  Just because I’m a mum doesn’t mean I have to lose who I am.  I need people to talk to, and if I didn’t work I’d probably not go anywhere, so it’d drive me insane.  Also, all the other women in the family have traditional home roles – they do a bit of work, but mostly based out of home.  Nowadays that isn’t the norm, so I want to show N that there’s alternative roles for women and that don’t need to stay home and devote themselves to the home.

The only bits of concern are when I know that if I didn’t work, or worked shorter hours, I’d be able to do more mum things, and try and help N more with reading and writing during the day rather than at nearly 6pm when he’s tired post after school club.

How did you feel when it was time to go back to work?
Nervous about how much had changed in my absence.  But otherwise, it was just something that was happening.  I knew N would be fine, and I knew it was always going to happen so I was prepared.  I did wonder how the childcare timings would work out, because I had an hour commute so had to worry about the traffic.

Is your work/life balance what you want it to be or would you rather work less or more? 
In this job change I already took a big pay cut even though I work more hours, because I have a 12 minute commute.  I’d love to work 4 days but reducing pay even more I’m not sure I want to do that.  I like the luxuries that work gives us and means I don’t have to stress about money or ask for money from the OH. Plus working 4 days still wouldn’t allow me to do more school pick ups which is the thing I miss out on.  Unless I changed job again,  and was able to get the same pay for a few shorter days, it’s unlikely that I’d go part time.

What advice would you give to a mummy heading back to work? 
Think of it as the next step and prepare in advance, especially if you’re someone who doesn’t really want to go back.

Emma, thank you so much for such a fab interview – I love the honesty that you bring, especially in the fact that you absolutely wanted to go back to work. I know that for some, it really is important and that staying at home would just drive you round the bend. I applaud you for managing the childcare situation so well. It sounds like you had a lot to remember, I often found myself walking to the train station of an evening and having to think what day it was and where Zach was! It’s great that you managed to find a job closer to home and I’ll remember your tip about having to choose which school events to go to. Zach starts school next year so it’s going to be all change here! 

Along with her blog www.bubbablueandme.com you can also find Emma over at www.whataboutdance.com and on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.