Mummascribbles – Working Mums – I Am Crabstix – Mummascribbles

I have been a working mum since 2013 and am currently three quarters of the way through my second maternity leave. Some days being at full time work was extremely difficult while on others it was nice to be able to sit and have a hot cup of tea without having to wipe a nose or change a bum! I know there are a heck of a lot of working mums out there, some who love it, some who hate it and others who are somewhere in the middle. I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how others feel about being a working mum and maybe we can all learn a little something about dealing with that dreaded mummy guilt!

Today we meet the lovely Nicola from I Am Crabstix talking all things working mummy! 

Tell me a little bit about who is in your family
I am Nicola Crabstix (obvs this is just my superhero name, not my real one)… I’m from the North East and I live with my partner Mark, our little boy RLT who is currently eleven months old and our cat Orla Kitty. I am obsessed with the designer Orla Kiely, hence my cat’s name. 

What age were your children when you returned to work?  
I returned to work when RLT was eight and a half months old. 

Did you return to a job away from the home or within the home? 
I work around 45 minutes away from where we live. We decided to move close to childcare (we sold our home when I was 6 months pregnant and moved when I was 8!). Rather than having baby in the car we chose to add to our commutes. My partners work is an hour and a half each way! 

Did you choose to return or did your circumstances force you back?  
My maternity leave cover stopped going to work – if she was OK and doing what she needed to, I would have stayed off a year. 

Did you return to work full or part time?  
Full-time condensed into four days. My employer has been really amazing with my hours. 

What childcare do you have in place and how did you go about choosing it?   
My mum retired at 50, when my niece was born, as she didn’t want to miss out on her grandchildren growing up, which is fantastic as she is like Mary Poppins! So five years on, she has my little one as well as my niece and nephew. 

What do you find the most difficult about being a working mum?  
Getting to work on time as he is so happy in the morning that I struggle to say goodbye and get in the car! I know he is with people that love him while I am at work so I don’t worry about him while I’m there. 

How do you deal with the working mummy guilt?  
I’m only two months in to being back, I’m still struggling with that. 

How did you feel when it was time to go back to work? 
Numb. I remember one night I laid next to RLT while he was sleeping and sobbed. The reality of walking back in to the office isn’t half as bad as the build up!

Is your work/life balance what you want it to be or would you rather work less or more?  
My partner and I are only off on Saturdays together as he works Sunday to be able to look after RLT on a Friday. We have to pack being a family in to one day as his commute means mid-week family time is a write-off, so it is hard. I’m much better at leaving work on time than I used to be, but I never switch off and don’t leave things at the door as I should.

What advice would you give to a mummy heading back to work?  
It will take time to adjust for both you and your baby. Make sure you make no commitments to your working hours, patterns until you have seriously thought through the practical implications for your family and also if your job can be done on these terms. 

Nicola, thanks so much for taking part. It’s really good to hear from someone who has only just gone back and I know it will make others feel better to know that you are struggling with it a bit, as I am sure many others are. It must be so lovely to know that your little boy is in such good hands and how fab for him to be spending so much time with his cousins. I hope that you get yourself into the swing of things soon and that the struggle gets a bit easier. It took me a while when I went back but I did get there.

Along with her blog www.iamcrabstix.com, you can also find Nicola over on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.