Oscar's first week of pre-school – Mummascribbles

So it happened. On Monday at 9.30am, Oscar started pre-school. A moment I had been waiting for – not because I don’t want him around – of course I do – but because he just needs more than what I can give him on a daily basis. He needs more interaction with other children without me there, and he needs more interaction with other adults. He just needs more and I know that he is ready. The question was, did he know he was ready?

You see he is a massive Mummy’s boy. And since he realised what pre-school means, he has been an even bigger Mummy’s boy! He barely even lets Daddy do anything for him at the moment – I get every single nappy change and every single getting ready process right now. So I have been expecting that it wouldn’t be plain sailing when it came to settling him in – and I was totally right!

The first thing that happened was that we had a home visit back at the beginning of September. I thought it had gone really well but then Oscar said to me,

I don’t like her. I never want to see her again.

He was talking about his key-worker. So yeah, not a great start!

Then came the stay and play session. He had LOADS of fun. But stayed firmly away from his key-worker. He had clearly worked out that she was the one taking him away from me! I knew at this point that this was not going to be an easy journey.

Monday morning came along and we were raring to go. He had a late start so we popped to Costa to kill the time and I spoke to him about what was going to happen. He wasn’t keen though, and when we arrived, he did everything he could to not go in – which meant messing about with the abacus table out in the corridor! I eventually got him in, went out into the garden with him and tried to say my goodbyes. He was clinging to my leg a bit but I thought it was worth a try, so I sat out in the reception area waiting for news as to how he was doing.

A very short while later his key-worker came out to tell me that he was utterly inconsolable. So I went back in, and the relief on his little face was tear-jerking for me. I stayed with him the rest of the morning and he did eventually come out of his shell, playing and interacting with some of the staff members – except his key-worker. At the end of the three hour session he was worn out, and had the first proper nap he has had in months!

Wednesday morning happened and it was an immediate start after dropping Zach at school. And we had progress. He let me leave him, said goodbye to me with a small wobble of his voice, and then when I popped a look in, he was standing over by the play kitchen area looking like he was playing. A while later though, just before 9.30am, the headteacher came out, asked me if I was Oscar’s Mum, and informed me that he was inconsolable and had been standing in the same spot since I had left. I was heartbroken, went back in, and found him in absolute gulping sobs in the corner of the room. I gave him a big cuddle, he eventually calmed down, and then for the rest of the morning was running around making friends and playing! He napped again for a short time afterwards.

And then Friday morning came about. I had been hopeful that despite the tears on Wednesday, he HAD let me leave him and he HAD ignored me quite a bit when he was busy playing. However, the hopeful bit didn’t last when he begged me not to leave him. The tears started even as I mentioned it and I once again spent the whole session with him, creating havoc when I popped out to the toilet because he had a huge meltdown. With the high emotions, the early morning, and the fun he had playing, he was completely worn out and slept for a couple of hours!

Overall, I have to say he has done really well. Yes I have had to stay with him, but I can assure you that I am not the only one. There have been the same set of parents staying every day, and when I was speaking to one at the school gates earlier on, who had been over the moon when her daughter let her leave her half way through the session with no troubles – she had been going through this process every day for two weeks. Her daughter had previously cried every time she moved to a different spot in the room, so this was serious progress.

And there was another lady who had been there every day this week with her son – who she had thought would be absolutely fine with pre-school and yet it was a very different scenario with tears and screaming every time she left the room. At least with me, I was expecting this and I just knew that I would be spending time settling him in.

I know that we will get there. It is going to take time. He loves being there, he loves all the activities that there are, and he is really gelling with a few of the staff members and children. Unfortunately he still refuses to even look at his key worker, tells her he doesn’t like her, and tells her to go away. He doesn’t say that to ANYONE else. So I think there is going to come a time when I have the discussion about them changing his key worker because I truly don’t think that bond that she mentioned, is ever going to happen!

Let’s see what happens in week two!

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