speech Archives – Mummascribbles
Here I am again with another roundup of the funny things my toddler has said. It’s a bit of a bumper edition, there has been so many!
I was recently getting Zach to eat his dinner by telling him that the rest of the peas and carrots needed to be eaten because they wanted to join their friends in his tummy. Everytime he then took a mouthful, I’d leave it a couple of seconds and then cheer, saying that I could hear them celebrating. After the third round of this, he swallowed them down, looked all serious, farted and said, “they’re talking out of my bum”.
We were reading We’re Going on a Bear Hunt and he said… “One shiny wet nose, two big furry ears, two big goggly eyes, it’s a Mummy”.
His new favourite thing is doing a standing up wee over the toilet (which is great!). Now he stands there and just as the wee is about to come out he says, “fire”.
He woke up recently complaining of a sore throat and he said to me, “how did I get my sore throat, I laid in bed and it just came”.
We were watching that epic tennis match between our girl and Serena Williams and I’d got excited that she’d broken her Serena’s serve. Zach got very concerned about it and said “mummy, she broke herself. She needs to put herself back together”.
We were on our way home from nursery recently and he said the following in quick succession:
“Have we got pancakes at home? Have they gone out of date? What’s the date on them? Do they needed be toasted (because they’d gone out of date)? I don’t want to eat pancakes that have got mould on them!”
He was with my mum (as usual) and she said to him that he was going on holiday soon. He pointed at her and said “are you coming with me”? When she said no, he said, “are you going to be at nannie’s house”?
Mum was cooking dinner and he went out to the kitchen and with a big sigh said, “not chicken again, soon we’ll be clucking”. Something my mum had said to me a couple of days before!
When they were in music class the other day, when they’d got there it was raining. At the end of class, he took my mum’s mobile phone over to her and said “look at the weather nannie, see if the rain has stopped”!
He was given a couple of toy cars from our next door neighbour who had seen them at the market over the road and thought he’d like them. When we were indoors and he’d seen them properly, he said “they’re gorgeous, I love them”.
And finally, a new mispronunciation. He was given a little mini water pistol at a birthday party recently. He calls it a whistlepizzle!
What funnies have your kiddies come out with recently?
It is an everyday occurrence now that Zach makes me laugh or quite simply amazes me with the things he comes out with. Just over the last couple of days, there have been a number of things that I have managed to write down and so to share them and document them for the future, here they are!
1. Remember that awful weather we had on Tuesday. The one where one minute it was bright sunshine and then the sky got so dark we all thought the world was ending? Well, we were in the car on the way home from nursery when the hail started. I don’t think that Zach has experienced hail before and thank goodness we were safely inside the car because it was heavy, thick hail. There was me, concentrating on driving through it and in the back of the car was Zach saying…
“Mummy, it’s going BANG BANG BANG on the car!”
2. Yesterday, we were in the car, just about to leave my mum’s to go home. We’d said goodbye to nannie, Zach said his last goodbye with a wave and to be silly I shouted (with all the doors and windows closed), byeeeeee nannie. You know what he said?
“She can’t hear you”
I was well and truly made to feel silly by my two and a half year old!
3. We were then driving along the road and he saw a man with his two children on bikes. He looked at me and said
“I want a bike mummy. You can get me one!”
Oh can I now?!
4. On the same journey, there was a large truck in front of us so I pointed it out since he loves big trucks. It had what looked like a digger on the back of it and he said to me,
“The truck picks the car up and puts it on the truck”
Errrm, yep, some trucks definitely do that little man!
This morning another couple of funnies happened.
5. As per usual, as soon as the other half starts drinking from his glass of water, Zach wants it. Usually, he just drinks it. This morning though, he said
“I want some water, it goes through my winky”
Me and the other half just looked at each other amazed! Zach then took a couple of gulps and proceeded to try and show us it going through his winky haha!
6. And finally, for this round of funnies. He decided that while I was trying to get ready this morning, he wanted to do row the boat. We got into position on the bed, he turned and looked at me and said,
“Get your sea ready”
He just makes me laugh so much this little one!
Have you had any funnies recently or have they said something with such knowledge they have left you astounded? I’d love to know!
Zach makes me laugh so much now. He’s a complete chatterbox and sometimes there are moments that are just hilarious. Most funny conversations happen in the car and generally, by the time I’ve got to wherever we are going (usually home), I’ve forgotten what it was that he said that made me laugh so much. It’s like I need a dictaphone switched on continuously to catch everything so I can then write it all down.
Yesterday I managed to remember because it was truly impossible to forget. I picked him up from nursery, and like the rest of the UK at the moment, we have the strong winds. Trying to calmly wait for him to get into his car seat (his new thing that he just has to do by himself but that takes at least five minutes of faffing around before he actually sits on his bum to be strapped in), I asked him to hurry up a bit as I was getting blown around and was cold. Once in the car and driving, the following conversation took place…
Zach: It’s windy isn’t it mummy?
Me: Yes it is, it’s very windy.
Zach: My hat would blow off, over the fence!
Me: (laughs) Yes I guess it would if you had it on – you’d have to hold it tight onto your head.
Zach: Yeah I would. Want my hat mummy.
Me: What now? You want your hat on in the car?
Zach: Yes please mummy
As his hat was sitting in his bag on the seat next to me and I was sat in stationary traffic, I unzipped his bag and gave him his hat.
Zach: (after a few seconds of trying) Can’t get it on mummy!
Me: Would you like me to put it on for you?
Zach: Yes please.
Still sitting in stationary traffic, I put the handbrake on and lent round to put his hat on.
He then sat there for the rest of the journey with it on while repeatedly telling me that the wind would blow it over the fence if he didn’t keep it on tightly! He was absolutely adamant that this would happen and I don’t know where he got the blowing over the fence part from but it was just making me giggle!
When we arrived home, he asked me to hold it for him so that it didn’t blow off of his head.
Indoors, I then asked him if he wanted something to eat. Sometimes we buy pancakes, you know the little ones in the supermarket that taste like syrup? I offered him a scone & jam, spaghetti on toast or a sandwich and he said that he wanted a pancake which wasn’t an option as we didn’t have any. When I explained this to him, his response was:
Want a pancake mummy, we’ll have to go and buy some!
Oh I did giggle!
Finally, there was a slight disaster. I’d popped some milk in his cup and put it on the coffee table for him. He wanted it on the floor and I said no because I just knew he’d spill it. Of course he ignored me and he put the coaster on the floor then put his milk on it. Before I could even say Zach I said no, he’d taken one step and yep you can guess what happened…
I guess they always say don’t cry over spilt milk!
I quickly cleaned it up, wiped the floor with a few baby wipes and told him not to walk on that bit as it was slippery. For the next few minutes he wandered around saying…
Mustn’t walk on that bit cause it’s slippery!
Then he decided he wanted a cuddle so came and sat with me.
It was just one of those evenings where I had one very happy boy who was showing me how big and grown up he is with his speech and his memory and his knowledge. I was having a chat on Twitter yesterday and a few of us were mentioning just how quickly they grow up and it’s so true. We were watching him this weekend just gone with a new pair of eyes. He’s so tall now, he understands so much and he is so good at communicating that there is hardly ever a time that I don’t understand what he’s saying. And if he is struggling to get a word out, if he knows in his head what he is trying to say, but he just cannot find the right word in his little vocabulary, he says to me disappointingly…
Oh, I don’t know the word mummy.
And between us we figure it out. And it’s one of those moments that just makes my heart explode with love.
Were you by any chance expecting a post about poo?! Luckily for you, it’s not!
Nope, this morning there was an explosion of words.
Zach’s speech came out of nowhere really. One minute I was slightly worried that he wasn’t really saying much and then suddenly it all appeared and it hasn’t really stopped. He often says things in the car that make me chuckle or leave me in amazement and by the time we’ve got home, I’ve forgotten what they were. And so when this morning came sentence after sentence, I noted them all on my phone and where better to document it than here?
So, he woke up and because he hadn’t seen me since Wednesday morning, he called for the other half (who had gone to work).
Daddy, Daddy, Dad, came from his bedroom.
I went in and his little face lit up when he saw me and the following came out of his mouth in the matter of minutes:
Mummy’s back with kitty, which made me a bit sad because he remembered that kitty was no longer here but I knew that he was expecting her to be downstairs as he thought I’d brought her home I wasn’t wrong because when we did get downstairs, he went to feed her
Next up was Mummy’s not in Manchester anymore – great observation and I was impressed that he remembered where I had gone!
Following this was Daddy’s gone on the choo choo train, which was true and he does say this most days!
Then I started coughing and spluttering everywhere and he said the following:
Mummy’s got a sneeze
Mummy’s got a cough
Mummy’s got a sniff
He then proceeded to tell me that Zach’s got a cough too, where he then got a tissue, blew his nose and did a fake cough!
After this, he said Mummy’s getting better from the cough – bless!
Now, when I spoke to the other half earlier and told him all of this, it transpires that it was a conversation they had last night in preparation of me coming home ill. The other half had told him that he needed to be gentle with me because I’m not feeling well. He then had this thought that the last thing in this house that was not very well was our cat and she died. Worrying that he thought that Zach would put two and two together and make a thousand, he thought he’d better reassure him that I am getting better!
Zach remembered all of this. He remembered the whole conversation that they’d had and replayed it to me. I don’t know if I’m amazed more that he said all of those things absolutely perfectly, in entirely the right context and in order of the original conversation, or more amazed that his memory is that good! I mean I know it is, his memory shocks me but sometimes I think, really? Just really?! He’s such a clever little sausage!
He then, just a short while later got the scales out while I was on the loo (yep, the joys of being off work sick hehe!), stood on them and said measure the stones. He’s even talking in maths hehe!
Have your little ones said anything that has amazed you recently? I’d love to know!
While Zach has been poorly this week, he seems to have had some very vivid dreams and some that seemed to be nightmares. What I’ve noticed though is how as soon as he’s woken up he’s said something relating to said dream. This has never happened before.
The first instance was when he woke in tears in the night, so I went in to see him and he immediately said to me, don’t like it mummy, don’t like the giraffe while sounding genuinely terrified. He then briefly fell asleep after some soothing and I just made it back into bed when he woke again in tears. I went back in and he said, don’t like the doggy mummy, and pointing at his dinosaur park toy said, the doggy’s not over there.
I started to recall how whenever I was poorly as a child with a temperature, I used to have terribly vivid dreams and also used to hallucinate! I had this wallpaper that had all of the nursery rhyme characters over it and I used to have the noise of a school playground going on in my head whilst all these characters were moving like they were in the playground! I remember it so vividly but I remember being horribly scared by it.
On Thursday, a similar thing to the nighttime dreams happened with Zach when he awoke from his nap. Upon slightly opening his eyes, he said, can’t get through it, followed by, got to turn it round in the garden, while pointing out the back window! He was obviously referring to whatever he was dreaming about and I had no idea what that was!
It’s been interesting that this is the first couple of times that this has happened. At the age of nearly two and a half, he is now extremely vocal so it makes sense that he can refer to the dream he was having immediately before he wakes up but I do hope that he doesn’t have quite as nasty ones like I did when I was ill. Thinking back to them, I still remember how blimmin scary they were!
Do your little ones have more vivid dreams when they are poorly and have they ever woken up and immediately said something relating to their dream? I’d love to know
Laying on the floor of Zach’s bedroom while I make sure he is finally asleep, I’m just here thinking about what a wonderful little boy he is. Yes he has his moments and there have been some incredibly cheeky ones this weekend but overall he is just the sweetest boy ever and he makes me so proud all of the time.
Tonight while he was laying in bed, he wanted cuddles, something that has started to happen just recently. He’s never been much of a cuddly boy but just suddenly he comes over and asks for cuddles and it’s just the sweetest.
Today, while at our friends house, he behaved impeccably and had them all gushing at his cuteness! He is so good at talking now and just comes out with funny things all the time. Unfortunately he’s a bit obsessed with telling everyone and anyone that he’s done a fart but I can’t help but find it funny!
I also love the way he explains things to us, either what he is doing or what is required. His favourite term is not too tight enough, which to him means it’s not tight enough. He says it if his duvet isn’t covering him properly or his trousers are falling down or his socks are slipping off. Not too tight enough mummy I get, not too tight enough!
One of his other funnies right now is with the cash register he got for Christmas. It has a working tannoy on it and he presses the button, speaks into it and says allo, a toolkit! This being because he also got a toolkit for Christmas and that’s what he decided he wanted to say in his tannoy!
Which also reminds me about the Furchester game on cbeebies. There’s a part that tells him to say hello into the microphone and because he is two and takes everything so literal, he says hello into the microphone. Too blimmin cute.
There’s been some trying moments with him this weekend but thinking and writing about all of the above just makes me remember how incredibly lucky I am to have such a wonderful, funny little boy.
Zach’s speech came out of nowhere. He was a boy that focussed on learning to run around creating havoc and wasn’t too bothered about talking. His vocabulary started coming on slowly but his first words weren’t your usual first words like dog or teddy, they were water and highchair! All of the books, emails and fellow parents were making me worry that he didn’t know enough but I always knew it would come out at some point, and boy did it.
As soon as he moved up to the toddler room at nursery, I realised that most of the children in his previous class had been younger than him, and it was mixing with the older ones when all of these new words started coming out of nowhere. Soon after, he was forming small sentences and soon after that he was shocking me with what he knew. A few weeks back we’d gotten up to five word sentences (airplane up in the sky) and today I got a seven word one but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. He can give us simple instructions, tell us what he wants and explain simple things to us (rocket go blast off) – do you see an aviation fan here?!
Sometimes he comes out with the cutest things that are pronounced wrong. He pronounces Wednesday, Wesnesday and Furchester (from the tv programme), Furschester and it’s so blimmin cute!
Today however, there was something a little worrying. I knew he didn’t mean what he was actually saying but I couldn’t figure out what he was trying to say. His words were, want a dead man. Yep, I didn’t hear wrong, he was asking for a dead man and I just didn’t understand. I initially thought that maybe he’d remembered the you dead man from Cool Runnings but surely he couldn’t be that clever! Me and the other half looked at each other funny and laughed it off as whatever it was, it didn’t seem overly important. A few minutes later he said it again but this time pointing at the kitchen cupboard. It was then that I clicked – he wasn’t asking for a dead man but a gingerbread man!! I had to laugh at the misunderstanding and was secretly relieved that he didn’t somehow know about dead men at the age of two!
What funny things have your little ones come out with that have taken you a while to decipher? I’d love to hear!