Turning 40 and thinking ahead – Mummascribbles

In October I celebrated my 40th birthday (as did Dean). It wasn’t a birthday I was really worried about and other than a few drinks out and having our family visiting over an extended weekend (thanks half-term), it wasn’t a massive celebration. It would have been, but we just got married and had a wonderful reception in July so it didn’t feel right to throw another one so soon!

Not a lot crossed my mind about turning forty in the lead-up; it was just the night before when I started having thoughts about getting older, getting nearer to the end, and what if something happens sooner rather than later. It’s funny how your brain can change so quickly – a little switch flicks on and it’s like, oh crap, this is happening! I spoke to Dean who said exactly the same thing – that he suddenly just started thinking about the end being closer.

I won’t lie, it has been on my mind far too much and there are some days it has consumed my thoughts to the point where I’ve needed to sip water infused with rescue remedy to calm myself down. I don’t know what’s happened but my brain has gone a bit crazed. Most days are ok though and other than the odd knee twinge, I still feel no different than I did to 39.

With this slightly overexaggerated brain development, it has of course got me thinking about the coming years and what I want out of them. Obviously the boys are still quite young (10 and 6), but I know that as they get older, they’ll need me less and so it’s a good time to start thinking about where I want to find myself. There are a bunch of things I want to focus on:

Regular exercise

I’ve probably written this so many times, but actually keeping it up is the hardest thing to do. I was exercising probably 5 times a week in the lead-up to the wedding – I was on it like a mad thing because I had a goal at the end of it. As soon as the wedding was over, my brain went, well that’s done, and I have barely exercised for the last three months. Well, I say barely –  I’ve been cycling to and from school with the kids as much as we can and doing the daily dog walks which all work very well, but there is nothing quite like that feeling from a proper workout.

I also started eating like crap again. It’s that time of year isn’t it? As the cold sets in and the nights get darker, it’s easier to find an excuse to eat those biscuits and drink all the hot chocolates. But you know what, I will continue to do this because heck, that makes me happy! As long as I’m balancing it out with keeping fit because I know the minute I reduce exercise, it all starts to pile on!

Doing more of the things I enjoy

I love my life, I do. I love my kids even more. But there is definitely a part of me that went missing some time ago that I have yet to find. She’s got a pile of wonderful books that are waiting to be read. She’s got bath bombs that are waiting to be soaked in. She’s got shows that she wants to see. Places to visit, adventures to have. It’s not all going to happen in one go (especially with the current financial crisis), but I definitely need to start living my life a bit more instead of just being mum.

I have been a member of The Authentic Girls Club for a while now and it’s all about discovering who we really are and being our authentic selves. It’s an amazing place to be, full of supportive women all on a journey of discovery and I’m enjoying learning who I am again.

Being braver

I have mentioned on here before that I hate driving long distances. From years of having Oscar throwing up in the car, to the panic that sets in about getting stuck in traffic and someone needing the toilet, I do my best to avoid it. But I don’t want that for the kids. I want to be brave and drive down to theme parks or go on adventurous trips. I have got much better in the car on longer journeys and managed the 2-hour trip to and from Norfolk in the Summer really well, so I’ll hopefully build on that and become a confident driver again. Heck, I’ve even done two motorway trips recently just with me and Oscar which is massive progress – I’d usually find a back way round but it would have taken ages longer. One of the journeys home was in thick fog in the dark and it was absolutely terrifying – I got home shaking, but I still managed it!

Building my business further

I have come a long way since I started my VA business a few years ago. I have four clients and I have niched down to offering social media and content services. I did a Copywriting course quite recently and my next step is to take it from an hourly paid rate to a package rate, and then get more clients on those! It’s slow progress but I absolutely love the work that I do and I would love it to grow more. I just need to show up more on my socials – although my most recent client came through a recommendation which I know is the best way to get them!

Having more date nights

Dean and I hardly ever go out. It doesn’t help that we moved away from all the family and so arranging sitters comes with a lot more organisation, but we do need to do more together – even if it’s popping to one of the locals for a drink or going out for lunch during the working day! Little things where there are no other distractions!

Seeing my friends more

Again, slightly tricky because we are that much further away, but I really need to meet up with them more than the couple of times a year I do.

Reading all the books on my bookshelf

Why do I never find the time to do it? They’re sitting waiting for me but there’s always something else to be done and I just keep adding to them. I will start reading properly again and not take 4 months to get through one paperback!

Going back to natural

I’ve been thinking about losing the blonde for a while now, or at least losing some of it! I want to take my hair back to its more natural colour. My roots are already doing a good job because quite frankly, right now I can’t afford to go and get it highlighted, but I did recently chop lots of it off which made me happy. I just don’t like the blonde on me anymore and it’s been absolutely years since I’ve been proper brunette!

Doing the things on my bucket list

I don’t have much of one but there are a few things that I do want to do.

Get a new piercing, along with the tattoo I’ve been wanting to get for years (I still don’t know the design but I’ve always wanted one that reflects my beautiful boys), and I also really want to do some kind of trek for charity! I keep thinking about that one so I’ll do some research, although I do know one that I’d love to do!

I think that’s a pretty good list to get going with! It should all keep me busy until my 50th!