An Oscar pre-school update – Mummascribbles

Last time I wrote about this was just after Oscar’s first week of pre-school, and it wasn’t going well. He had refused to let me leave, I had spent the whole three sessions with him, and it looked like it was going to a very long settling in process. And I wasn’t wrong! In fact, in a way, the settling in process is still ongoing, but things have got MUCH better.

It was at the end of the third week of term that he finally started letting me leave him. Well, letting is a bit of a strong word, but you know, he didn’t have a complete break down when I said goodbye. The Friday was the biggest success and we were all hopeful that the following week would be a continuation of that. And then he got croup. He was very, very poorly the first few days and it went on for a whole week. This meant he had a whole week off pre-school and I knew it would throw him back off a bit.

When we went in the following Monday, I had no thoughts other than that I would spend the whole session with him once again. This was partially because I had a strong feeling that he wouldn’t want me to leave him, but also because the poor boy had been so poorly, I wanted to make sure that he was ready to be back there. He was and he had loads of fun (albeit with me by his side).

After this, it was time to try leaving him again and over the next few sessions, I stayed for a short time and then said goodbye. He was never happy about the goodbye and I spent quite some time in the corridor waiting to make sure he was OK for me to go – but I did manage to get out.

Gradually each day got better, which was handy because with the super near arrival of Buster, I would no longer be able to spend three hours at pre-school! The staff knew that we were getting a puppy and that I wouldn’t be able to stay, and so from the moment that he arrived four weeks ago, there have been no more ‘stay and play’ sessions for Mummy!

It has not, and still isn’t, easy to leave. He never wants me to go, spends most of the mornings telling me he doesn’t want to go, and sobs his heart out when I try and say goodbye. But thankfully the staff have been amazing and make sure they are there exactly when he wants them to be (he is very vocal my boy and spends quite a bit of time saying no and telling them to go away!).

Gradually though, the tears have got less. I always wait for the door to be closed because I know that he will try to come and find me, but once that door shuts, I say goodbye, walk out the door and hover in the corridor until he calms down. It has gone from a couple of minutes of sobbing and slowly coming around, to this week, when I walked out listening to him sobbing, and the minute the door closed behind me and I was out of sight, I was clearly also out of mind because I could hear him suddenly chatting away to the nursery manager Lisa about his swimming lesson on Saturday! The tears are just for show. An attempt at making me stay. But it doesn’t work. Especially now I know that he is absolutely fine without me there.

There are three members of staff that he absolutely loves, and over time, he has come around to the others too – including his key-worker who he absolutely refused to talk to for many weeks.

And now when I pick him up, he spots me, gets a beaming smile on his face, and runs to me for the biggest cuddle ever. It really is wonderful. He then grabs his milk (they are allowed to bring a couple of little cartons home with them), we find his bag and coat, he says goodbye to everyone in a very cheery manner, and we go out to his buggy where he asks if I have brought him a treat (I am trying to stop that but I needed treats in those early weeks), and then we head home and he spends the journey singing all of the nursery rhymes they would have been singing in their group time at the end.

There is no doubt that he is happy there now – despite still pretending that he doesn’t want to go. There is no doubt that once I am gone, he has a great time. I have even spotted a painting up on the wall with his name on. He takes part in the activities, he takes part in the singing, he even sits down each time for a snack – something that he refused to do for weeks because that would have meant he was OK there without me!

From here on in, I am hoping that it gets better and better. That I eventually don’t get the “I don’t want to go to pre-school today”, that there are no tears when I drop him off, and that I no longer have to wait until the door is closed before I can get myself out.

He does three mornings a week at the moment, but come January, when his three year funding kicks in, he will be there every morning. I quibbled with myself as to whether it was the right thing to do but I genuinely believe that it is. It has been such a hard settling in process – one that really is still ongoing, that I would rather get him used to going every day before he then transfers over to nursery come September, and then on to reception the year after.

It is good for he and I to spend some time away from each other. Dog walks are far easier when it is just me and Buster, and I get work done – either blog, VA, or house stuff. Those three hours fly by (except for when you have to stay there with them!), and the afternoons are still all ours.