Fears since becoming a mummy – Mummascribbles

I never used to have fears – except for spiders of course but that’s not the kind of fear I’m talking about! I’ve always been a bit of a daredevil, have always loved the biggest rollercoasters and it’s always been an aim of mine to do a parachute jump.

That’s all changed now!

Ever since having Zach, I have a complete fear of everything that puts my life in danger and I hope that by writing this post, you’ll all come back and tell me that it’s completely the same for you!

I don’t think it’s irrational to fear dying and leaving your children behind. Sadly, we have no choice as to when we leave this earth but I know that each and every one of us hopes it’s when we are way old and wrinkly! There’s just been several times recently that I’ve sat there completely worried about something that had never really worried me before.

When flying to and from San Francisco, every time we hit turbulence I was convinced it was the end. I suddenly had visions of the plane coming down and being all over the news. On take off (which I usually love), I had visions of the plane not making it up and on landing I had visions of it crashing down before we made it back to the runway. I had visions of Zach constantly asking after me and me not being there. About him growing up without me in his life. And damn that is a distressing thought.

I do have completely irrational fears as well. I can be standing on the train platform and have sudden thoughts of what if someone pushes me onto the tracks and the other day when walking across the Golden Gate Bridge I couldn’t help but think what if someone was to just pick me up and throw me into the ocean.

WTF?!

Seriously, I have come across so many what if situations it’s ridiculous!

I know that I can’t be the only one that has these horrible thoughts and I won’t be the last. It’s just amazing how having a child can drive so many fears through you that never before existed in your thoughts.

I guess I simply have everything to live for

The parachute jump can do one!