How Not to Make a Meal Out of Mealtimes {AD} – Mummascribbles

*This is a collaborative guest post

Are mealtimes a battle in your household? Issues with food are very common and can happen across any age group right up to teen years. Generally, food issues come in phases and are nothing to worry too much about, but it can be draining to combat three times a day. 

Here’s some useful guidance for parents looking to make mealtimes more harmonious! 

Play It Cool as a Parent

Try not to make too much of a big deal out of mealtimes. If all afternoon your child is hearing, “Are you going to eat your dinner tonight?” it can become quite overwhelming. Adding too much emphasis on the importance of food can actually have the opposite effect and make children less likely to engage. 

Heap Praise to Encourage Progress

While we advise playing it cool when applying pressure, it’s definitely a great idea to make a song and dance about the good days. As with any positive behaviours you’re trying to encourage, you should heap praise on your child when they demonstrate good eating habits. Don’t expect miracles; it’s important to notice the tiniest progress and let your child see that even small steps will be well received. 

Rewarding good habits can encourage progress, but try not to reward with food. Avoid using sweet food as a reward because this can teach your child that food is a negotiation tool. Verbal praise is the easiest and quickest way to encourage them in the moment, but making future plans is also a really positive way to help them keep up the good work. For example, suggesting they’re ready to go for a meal at a “grown up restaurant” or they can have tea with the adults on a weekend. This provides an aspirational incentive.

Include Your Children in All Aspects of Food

Feeling grown-up is an excellent incentive for children and can be great for their development. Including your child in decision making about food and mealtimes can increase their interest and enthusiasm. Include them in writing the shopping list, deciding on meals for the week or even helping with your food shopping.

Allowing your child to choose their own tableware can also make them more likely to be excited about a meal. It’s common for children to want to keep their foods separate on their plate, so a plate with individual compartments like these apple plates can help ensure their food doesn’t get “ruined”. Some children may have a favourite plate or are more likely to eat from foodware they’ve been allowed to pick out and buy themselves.

Include Food in General Conversation

If you only talk about food in the context of getting your child to eat their dinner, as soon as it’s brought up, that may trigger a negative response in your child. Try to bring food up casually outside of mealtimes so that it feels like an open topic they can be involved in. 

Creative ways to do this include spelling, using fruits as learning words, and asking children what their favourite things are, e.g. favourite vegetable, flavour of ice cream, sandwich filling. Having low-pressure chats about food when there isn’t a plate in front of them can help your child open up and develop a genuine interest in food. It’s also a great fact-finding exercise for parents to learn more about what their children are more likely to respond well to. Try and look for patterns; for example, if there are certain flavours or textures they mention they like, you can incorporate them into more meals. 

Parents Know Best

Dealing with a tricky eater is different for everyone, and ultimately relying on your parental intuition will be the best thing for your child. Don’t force it. Having very strict and rigid food rules can cause issues with food further down the line. Ultimately there will be times when all they’ll eat is a packet of crisps, and sometimes you have to pick your battles. We hope these suggestions help make mealtimes easier!