It's OK to be looking forward to the back to school bit! – Mummascribbles

Some have gone back already, some are back today, and well, if you are like us – your school threw an extra inset day on and they are returning tomorrow! The Summer holidays are (almost) gone, the new term is starting, the new starter and new year group photos have been taken, and the school run is back for many, many, and probably mostly wet, weeks.

And you know what? I am jubilant!

Does that make me sound like a terrible Mother? I feel like it does. I feel like I should have savoured the holidays. That I should have enjoyed every single aspect of them. That I shouldn’t be wishing away the days when I have both of my gorgeous boys at home with me, before suddenly the eldest is back out of the house for many hours each day.

But I couldn’t savour them. My children wouldn’t let me!

I wrote a post before they broke up about how I was dreading the school holidays. I then wrote an update half way through to see if it had been gonig as expected (it had). And now here I am, confirming my complete suspicions and confessing as to how bloody hard the last six weeks were.

Yes we had fun. Of course we did. We went to parks. We went swimming. We went to the theatre (twice). We met friends. We did playgroups. We did holiday clubs. We built dens. We did jumping on the bed (every single sodding day while I was trying to get ready). We did bowling. We saw family. We did soft play. We did farms. We laughed. We tickled. We giggled. We loved. There were so many moments that we loved.

But each and every one of those moments was completely overshadowed by the crap bits between siblings. The shouting. The screaming. The fighting. The pinching. The winding up. The attitude (from both of them). The answering back. The screaming at me. The talking to me like I am a bit of dirt on the bottom of their shoe rather than their Mum.

Yep – all of that put a real downer on all the fun we had. Because it seemed to be that the moment I mentioned a nice thing they had done – something they had helped me with, or how proud I was that they were playing so nicely – it was immediately followed with another screaming match between the two of them. Honestly – if we haven’t been outside of the house, they have generally been a ruddy nightmare together! And it has left me exhausted.

The lovely Al and Jen from The Dad Network put up a post on Instagram the other day about how they were dreading the return to school because they had absolutely loved every moment of the Summer holidays with their boy. And when I commented that actually, I was looking forward to the end of it, they said that they had been surprised at just how many people had been saying the same as me! And in that moment, I suddenly felt better. Because until that point, I had thought I was the only one counting down the days until the start of the new term. And I felt pretty s**t about it.

But reading that post made me realise that I am not a terrible Mother for looking forward to the return of school. Because it is fine for me to look forward to six hours each weekday where there will be no more fighting and arguments at home. And I know that I am not alone in my thoughts.

We forget that social media only really show the best parts of our lives. I try and keep mine real with the true crap of what I have to deal with at home, but most of my photos are happy ones (my instastories often tell the full story!).

So to anyone out there who has had six weeks of fighting siblings at home – who when you drop your child/children off at school, will be running out of that gate and home for a cup of tea in peace – I get you. You are NOT alone. I know that you ADORE your children. You LOVE them to their bare bones and you would do absolutely ANYTHING to keep them safe and protected forever. But jeez – you just want to drink a cup of tea without having to break up a fight!

Happy term time (and roll on the 16th when Oscar starts pre-school)!!!

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