Mummascribbles – The second worst part of being a working parent – Mummascribbles

The worst part of being a working parent is the lack of seeing your child. The guilt of having to rush them out of the house in the morning,  of having to leave them at nursery and the counting down the hours until you see their little face again. It’s horrible.  You feel mean and horrible even though they don’t actually care too much.

There is a second worst part though.  One that is actually an absolute killer. It isn’t quite on a par with the above but it is truly not far off.

The second worst part of being a working parent is when you don’t get enough sleep!

I am referring to working parents in general here,  not just working mums but dad’s too because they suffer just as much. In fact they suffer even more because in those newborn days, weeks and months they have to deal with a lot less sleep and still have to go to work and function.  Yes it is hard being at home with a baby, especially if you are only getting a few hours sleep. I’ve been there and done it. But if you want to, you can stay in your pj’s all day and you can try and have a nap when baby naps.

If you don’t get round to doing the washing up then it just doesn’t get done.  If you don’t get round to doing the hoovering then it’s fine.  Yes your baby/toddler needs entertaining, feeding and looking after but if you are doing it through half open eyes while yawning and only putting in half the effort, it’s not going to get you sacked.

Working when you’ve been woken up a few times in the night is horrible.  That’s it. It is literally horrible.  Trying to function, trying to remember the right answers to the questions you are being asked and trying not to fall asleep at your desk can be trialing. I know the other half has fallen asleep at his on a number of occasions after a night of rubbish sleep. I have definitely sat there with my eyes closed, trying to muster up the will to complete whatever task is being done. It is not easy.

This week, I am knackered. Last week I was at an event for three days. With a 6am start and a gala dinner that went into the early hours of the morning,  I was exhausted. As the main organiser of the event, I was expected to be there and when there was movement into the hotel bar, I couldn’t sneak away to bed. Of course I had fun but the repercussions of such a late night are still with me now. My childless colleagues wished me a restful weekend to recuperate from the exhausting event which is exactly what they would be doing, they just didn’t realise that it simply wasn’t an option. I have a 3 year old.  And I have an other half who has spent three days dealing with said three year old on his own, getting up in the night for him with no support and going to work. He needed a rest, I needed a rest, it didn’t happen.

It’s now Thursday and I still haven’t recovered from that event and just to make things worse I now have a cold. And Zach was up twice last night, at 12.30am and 3.30am, wanting his covers back. He falls straight back to sleep again but that disturbance to our sleep is a killer.  And when I look at the time and know that my alarm is going off in just over two hours time, there is that sinking feeling of having to get through another day that ideally requires matchsticks. And work is so busy at the moment.  I have another event next week in Glasgow that requires another night away.  Another night that the other half has to do the parenting on his own and probably another night where Zach will wake up,  as he tends to do more of when I’m not there.  There is just no recovery from it all and the pair of us are just exhausted.

Last night I looked at my Timehop and it showed me a photo of the first time we put Zach in his cot.  He wasn’t yet a month old and wasn’t sleeping well at all.

The caption with the photo stated that he had his longest sleep yet…2 whole hours!  It then went onto inform me that it had taken an hour and a half to get him back to sleep at which he then woke again half an hour later.  I remember those days of feeling like a zombie. Of walking around in that newborn glow/utter exhaustion.  But to look back now and think that the other half still had to go to work. I don’t know how he did it.

And it is the one thing that fills him with dread of having another child.  Because being that tired and still having to go to work and at the very least pretending that you are functioning like a normal human being is really quite challenging.

After my disturbed sleep last night,  my cold, my already knackered self; I am currently on my way to the office where I will have to concentrate.  Properly concentrate because I’ll be putting workshop lists in order, checking details on rooming lists and running orders, making sure exhibitors know what they are doing and where they are going next week,  dealing with last minute changes like the speaker who now cannot attend in person and who instead will be presenting over the phone (!), and making sure everything is boxed and ready for the couriers tomorrow. And then, right then, I need to pretend like I know what’s going on when I have to brief the staff that are going to be there helping me run things.

It is so not easy pretending to be awake, alert and doing my job properly. I wish I could just be at home with my three year old, watching Sooty with my eyes closed and not worrying that he might sack me if I get it all wrong!

I was speaking to my manager the other day – she’s on maternity leave and was in for a keeping in touch day, and I asked her how she was feeling about coming back next month.  She said she felt fine but that she was dreading the having to work on a lack of sleep.  Wondering how she would function if she had a night like the one she’d just had where her baby was poorly and up all night long. I had no advice for her other than that you just have to get on with it! Something that we’ve had to do time and time again.

And that’s why being woken in the night at whatever age your child is, is the second worst part of being a working parent. Whether you are mum, dad, part time or full time – having to pretend you are functioning properly is bloody hard!

Now where’s the sugary tea I need?

And yes – I know I get to eat breakfast in peace!!