Mummascribbles – Working mums – Life According to Mrs Shilts – Mummascribbles

I have been a working mum for more than three years now and am currently at the start of my second maternity leave. Some days being at full time work for those three years was extremely difficult while on others it was nice to be able to sit and have a hot cup of tea without having to wipe a nose or change a bum! I know there are a heck of a lot of working mums out there, some who love it, some who hate it and others who are somewhere in the middle. I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how others feel about being a working mum and maybe we can all learn a little something about dealing with that dreaded mummy guilt!

Today we meet the lovely Emma from Life according to Mrs Shilts. 

Tell me a little bit about who is in your family
We’re a little family of three, my husband Greg is a Senior University Lecturer and we have one little boy, Olly who is three and a half years old. 

What age were your children when you returned to work? 
Olly was 9 months old when I went back to work part-time. I used to work full time as a Senior HR Officer but reduced my hours to work four days per week with one day at home with Olly. 

Did you return to a job away from the home or within the home? 
I work four days per week in an Academy but I would love to work from home and have more time with my family. 

Did you choose to return or did your circumstances force you back? 
Unfortunately it was for financial reasons that I went back to work. We couldn’t afford for me to be off on no pay so I had to go back to work. 

Did you return to work full or part time?
I returned to work part-time and worked 30 hours per week over four days with Fridays off from work. 

What childcare do you have in place and how did you go about choosing it
We are super lucky that our parents have been able to look after Olly for us during the week. My in-laws are retired school teachers and have Olly for three days a week which is brilliant as he’s been able to learn so much from them. He doesn’t go to nursery but he hasn’t missed out at all. They’ve hugely helped shape his knowledge and development. Olly also goes to my Parents house one day per week too so he’s been able to form a great relationship with his Grandparents.  

What do you find the most difficult about being a working mum? 
During his early years, I hated missing out on all the milestones. I always felt like I was seeing some of his firsts second hand, when he began to walk for example and when he started saying more words. 

How do you deal with the working mummy guilt?
I feel the guilt all the time. I really wish I could spend more time with Olly and do fun stuff just the two of us. I’m not sure I really deal with it, I just accept that I feel guilty and get on with it. Olly knows we work so we can earn money for nice things and days out and although it hurts when he waves me off in the morning, I know I’m doing the right thing for our family. 

How did you feel when it was time to go back to work? 
I felt sick. I had such an amazing time during my maternity leave I didn’t really want it to end but I knew that it had to at some point. There were many mornings when I drove to work in tears and had to compose myself in the car park before going in to work. I would spend at least an hour in his nursery at bedtime just soaking up the time with him, even if he was asleep. It was just so I could spent some time with him. 

Is your work/life balance what you want it to be or would you rather work less or more? 
I would love to work less and have more time at home to be there for Olly and my husband. Being at work four days a week and running a blog in my ‘spare’ time doesn’t leave me with much other time for housework and other projects. I definitely need a worklife balance MOT. 

What advice would you give to a mummy heading back to work? 
My only advice would be is to take it easy. Don’t try and do it all at the same time. Give yourself time to adjust back into worklife and balancing the scales of work and homelife. 

Emma, thank you so much for taking part. So much of what you have written rings  true to me, it’s all exactly how I felt after I went back to work after having Zach. It’s so hard to find that balance but it sounds like Olly is having the most wonderful time with his Grandparents. I hope that in time you manage to find yourself working less hours or better still, at home. 

Along with her blog www.mrsshilts.co.uk, you can also find Emma over on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.