Mummascribbles – Working mums – The Two Darlings – Mummascribbles

As a working mum, some days I find it extremely difficult while on others it’s nice to be able to sit and have a hot cup of tea without having to wipe a nose or change a nappy! I know there are a heck of a lot of working mums out there, some love it, some hate it, others are somewhere in the middle. I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how others feel about being a working mum and maybe we can all learn a little something about dealing with that dreaded mummy guilt!

This week I have Eimear from The Two Darlings answering all those working mummy questions.

Tell me a little bit about who is in your family
I have two small ladies – Aoife is 3 and Cara is 1. I’m married for the past two years to my lovely husband who hails from Somerset in the South of England. We met when we were studying for our PhD’s in Agriculture, so to a background of dairy cows our romance blossomed!

What age were your children when you returned to work?
I returned to work after my first lady when she was 5.5 months old and my second lady was 6.5 months. It’s not easy leaving them when they are so small, their routines change so much when you’re away at work and how to alter the routines when they need to be altered is difficult when you don’t know exactly how they are during the day. For me it has meant a lot of sleepless nights as we try to figure out nap times slowly but surely.

Did you return to a job away from the home or within the home?
I work outside the home, 5 days a week 8.30 to 5. It’s a whirlwind really, always rushing, always busy, very little quality time with the girls especially at this age when bedtime is about 7.30, you’ve barely finished dinner and it’s up the stairs for bath time and bed.

Did you choose to return or did your circumstances force you back?
I wasn’t forced at all, I enjoy what I do so it never really entered my mind not to return to work. I am working on contract, one which I started when I returned to work after my first lady and which finishes when my second will be almost 2, so I wanted to make the most of that contract position as I learned a lot during my time in that job. Once my contract finishes we’ll see what happens, I wouldn’t say I’m eagerly scouring the job advertisements as a few months at home with my small ladies would suit us all as a family.

Did you return to work full or part time?
Full time so life is busy!

What childcare do you have in place and how did you go about choosing it?
Initially we had our first daughter in a crèche which was nice but it got a little crowded in there so we switched to a childminder. The crèche was great for me as a first time Mum, they were so helpful and informative when it came to things like naps and what she should eat so it meant we had an easy enough time of it. We chose a crèche initially mainly because neither of our families are close by and we were new to the area so a crèche that was fully vetted seemed the most logical step. As we settled and grew into our roles as parents we sounded out the idea of a minder and found one that worked. We’ve since changed again, a friend is minding our two now with just her two children and it’s working absolutely fabulously; she brings them swimming and is so interactive with them they are truly thriving.

What do you find the most difficult about being a working mum?
Not getting any time with the girls – people talk about their babies preferences and personalities and sometimes I feel like I can barely comment on it as I get to spend so little time with them. Not being around to help and encourage them achieve milestones such as crawling, walking and talking is difficult. Missing them all the time, I suppose having had such a lovely maternity leave with my second baby and having my toddler at home gave me an insight into life at home with them – it was fun and entertaining and there was never a dull or quiet moment. I miss that.

How do you deal with the working mummy guilt?
I honestly barely have time to consider it. I try not to entertain it, I am where I am and that’s the choice I’ve made for myself and for the family so what can I do? I guess we have a long term plan in place that suits us all so I look forward to parts of that falling into place which alleviates the guilt a little!

How did you feel when it was time to go back to work?
Dread, dread and more dread. I didn’t want to leave my babies, I didn’t want to go back to work. It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated in the end but it still took me a long time to get my head back in the game. I found it hard to concentrate for long periods of time as I was nearly out of practice of it, being at home with two small kids means you rarely concentrate on anything for longer than a few minutes!

Is your work/life balance what you want it to be or would you rather work less or more?
I would certainly like to work less and be at home more. I feel like I’m really missing out on the precious days when they are so small and learning and changing so much everyday that its gone in a flash and I feel like I’ve missed it all.

What advice would you give to a mummy heading back to work?
Try not to let it take over your mind in the weeks leading up to it, if it’s inevitable then there is nothing you can do about it and worrying about it will only eat into precious time you have at home with your babies. So put it out of your mind until the night before and honestly once you get back and catch up with work colleagues it’s not all bad. Go back in the middle of the week to ease yourself back into it!

Eimear, thank you so much for giving us an insight into your experiences as a working mum. We have had Twitter conversations that have been how much we dislike the situations we are in so your post really comes across as exactly how I feel. I completely agree with you about the lack of quality tim. My evenings feel like I’m rushing him to bed and the weekends just aren’t long enough. I’m so glad you have a wonderful childcare source in place and that your girls are thriving. It really does help to see them doing so great doesn’t it?

Along with her blog The Two Darlings, you can find Eimear over on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.