Oscar, you are four weeks old – Mummascribbles

Dear Oscar,

Four weeks.

One complete month on Saturday.

How on earth did that happen? 

Four whole weeks ago I successfully managed to push you into this world, I cried tears of relief, of joy, of love. I thought the memories of the birth and the nasty recovery from the episiotomy would take a long time to go away, but you know what? They are disappearing. I now no longer remember the pain that came from pushing – I just remember the feeling of the pop of your head coming out followed by the rest of your body. But it’s no longer associated with pain, it’s now an amazing feeling to have saved in a space in my brain. The episiotomy pain still continues but I believe that if I hadn’t spent the last two weeks coughing my guts up, that pain would also be pretty much gone.  

It hasn’t been the most fun start to life for you and the last month has been particularly hard on your brother. Because I was unable to do anything other than sit in whatever position I could find comfortable for the first week and a bit, we didn’t go anywhere and Zach had a pretty useless mummy. Then, just as we were starting to get our rhythm, when we were venturing to the shops and taking Zach to new classes that I found, mummy got the flu. Right now I am on antibiotics and feeling much better but I need this cough to go away. Zach has it too and we have been trying so hard not to spread it to you. You’ve already had your first cold but I still remember the horror of Zach getting bronchiolitis at 8 weeks old and it terrifies me that if you catch this, we might see the same thing happening. 

So, how have you developed over the last 4 weeks? 

My goodness you have grown.  I haven’t had you weighed since the midwife last came round when you were 12 days old (she told me not to bother going because we have your 6 week check – a wee bit early – next week), but on that day you had gone from 7lbs 11oz to 8lbs 8oz. Whoa!!! Goodness knows what you weight now but I’m going to hazard a guess that it’s at least 9lbs and possibly a lot more! We have already started putting you in the smaller of your 0-3 babygrows! 

Why is this growing happened so rapidly?

Well, quite simply, you do not stop feeding. Seriously! Mummy is actually questioning right now whether she is producing enough milk for you.  It could be that where I’ve been ill it’s been lacking a bit but it doesn’t feel like there is as much of a supply as there was before I was poorly. That said, it could also be that you are just draining me and I’m not producing it quick enough for your hungry tummy. And you keep it all down.  Your brother was a massive puker but you? Oh no, somehow it all goes to your stomach and stays there! 

It could also be for your love of sleep – you just love to you use mummy’s boobs as a soother. Most of the time, nothing else will work other than mummy’s boobs and for me, that is wholly exhausting, a little frustrating and a bit painful when you just keep on feeding. And I know it’s frustrating for daddy because unless he walks around with you, he tends to not be able to settle you for long periods because you always decide you need mummy’s boobs. 

You love sleeping. I know they say that all babies do is eat, sleep and poo but I had kind of forgotten that it’s really true. You have wakeful moments, looking around the front room with your beautiful eyes, laying on your playmat happily and laying on your changing unit which seems to be your favourite place in the world. For some reason it calms you down and you’ll happily lay there for ages! If only it was a safe place that we could actually leave you! 

In the beginning you loved your Poddle Pod. You’d snuggle on down in it with your gorgeous blanket and sleep for ages, not caring about the noise from Zach, the coughing from mummy.  But in the last couple of weeks, ever since you had your cold and ever since it was far easier for me to just leave you on me after you’d fallen asleep feeding, you are all about the mummy. You only want to be on me, which in all honesty, isn’t ideal as I have Zach to care for too. Daddy has been home with us the last few days but he’s back at work today and I have a little velcro baby. I need to work out how to use the wrap so I can wear you round the house! 

What you do love though is your Snuzpod…at night…which is The. Best. Thing. EVER!! I find that you like to stock up on food during the day/evening and then you just love to sleep at night.  At the moment we tend to go to bed at 11, I give you a feed, pop you in your Snuz, you fall asleep and wake around 3.30 for a feed and then 6.30 for the next feed. In between that, you sleep, we sleep, Zach sometimes sleeps!! If we go to bed a tiny bit earlier then it’s 2.30 and 5.30. You totally have your little schedule right now which is just amazing because Zach was a nightmare sleeper, up all the time feeding. I do know that this wonderful little schedule could change at any time but every day it is still happening, is just wonderful. 

What else is wonderful, is the bond with you and your brother. It was literally instantaneous. He loved you, you loved him and that was that. Every morning Zach comes into our room and the first person that gets a kiss and a cuddle is you.  Throughout the day you are bombarded with more and he often says to me, “I love Oscar”. It is just beautiful. The way you sometimes instantly calm down when he comes over to you and the way sometimes you follow him round the room with your eyes. Honestly that brotherly love is already there in magnitudes and it just makes my heart burst. 

And so, you are four weeks old. For one month I have been a mummy of two beautiful boys and I just adore you both so much. Keep feeding, keep growing strong, keep sleeping at night! 

Lots of love,

Mummy

xxx