Sometimes they just like to keep it interesting! – Mummascribbles

Every now and then, toddlers like to throw something into the mix when you’d got it all sussed.

Zach hasn’t had a problem going to bed for a long time. He’s been in his new room a week now and we’ve had no major set backs – a little bit of whimpering and in there (whilst pointing to our bedroom), and one night he did end up in our bed when he woke in the night, but relatively speaking, bedtime has been a pleasure for a while now.

So last night he decided to throw a spanner in the works by crying. Lots. Generally, if he does whimper when he’s put in his cot, he’s usually stopped before we’ve made it back downstairs so I knew last night when he was standing up in his cot crying his little eyes out, that we were in for a tricky evening.

The other half went back up first. I could see him on the monitor trying to calm him down and soothe him in the cot. I think he took him out for a cuddle. I could hear Zach chattering away like it wasn’t night time and upon being put back in his cot again he proceeded to cry again. Lots! The other half came back downstairs because sometimes having daddy in the room keeps him more awake!

Cue mummy!

I made sure I pee’d first because I’ve made that mistake so many times. Never go to settle your child with a full bladder because you may be in for the long haul!

Up I went and into his room where he instantly calmed down and started talking to me. He told me that Eeyore (one of his cuddlies), was asleep and I told him that Zach needed to be asleep but he was adamant that it was only Eeyore that was asleep! I could see that he was not going to lay down and so I asked him if he would like to sit with me on his bench and have a cuddle. Of course he did. So out he got and we went and sat down, him laying in my arms.
Suddenly I was transported back a year to when he was tiny and I could only get him to sleep through pure comfort. Last night, just like back then, I told him the story of Cinderella (because it’s the only damn story I can remember by heart), I sang to him while rocking him – Twinkle Twinkle no longer works as he can sing it all now so just joins in, so I tried Frere Jacques over and over and over again and it worked. Suddenly my little wide awake boy was letting his eyelids drop and slowly but surely, he fell asleep in my (now rather dead) arms. Had my right arm not have been going numb, I would have happily sat there enjoying this beautiful moment for longer but alas, I had to put him back in his cot and he half woke up to tell me the names of all the Raa Raa characters on his wall and that Eeyore was asleep, before he was shushed back to sleep again for the night.

Three things came out of last night.

1. No matter how much we think we have things set, they will always throw it up in the air now and again and it is always a worry that it’s the start of a bad sequence of bedtimes – I’ll only know the answer to that tonight but I think a few things caused his unwilling to go to bed last night, all of which were our own doing and so fingers crossed when we put him to bed tonight, he’ll nod off as easily as he has for months.

2. No matter how much he doesn’t see me, no matter how much he tests and pushes me, no matter how much he sometimes pushes me away, I am still the mummy that I was back when he was at home with me full time. I will still devote every minute that I need to, in giving him the cuddles he needs, the comfort that soothes him, the knowledge that I love him to the moon and back.

3. This morning, when the mad Monday morning rush was happening, when he didn’t wake up until 10 minutes before we had to rush out the door, when the total time I have spent with him so far today is half an hour (and that’s only because we got stuck in traffic), I am so grateful that he needed my comfort to get to sleep last night. So grateful that I had an extra half an hour of his beautiful sleepy snuggles. So grateful that at that moment I felt completely needed by my darling boy. Because sometimes it feels like I’m not. Sometimes it feels like it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t there. But I think that’s how he deals with me being the one that is forever leaving him somewhere. I think it’s a bit of a barrier that he puts up in case I don’t come back.

Therefore, the next time he takes a while to go to sleep, I will remember that every extra sleepy snuggly second is one worth treasuring, because they really don’t happen very often anymore!