The non-necessities of a wedding – Mummascribbles

We all know how expensive weddings can be. Even if you haven’t got married yourself or been involved in the planning of one, you know how expensive they can be. The costs can easily spiral out of control and your budget can get bigger and bigger. I know with us, we started off with a figure in mind but have way surpassed that now. And we haven’t gone overly lavish at all. Things just add up very quickly and then things crop up that you forgot to even budget for in the first place (hello mini-moon!).

I am on quite a few wedding Facebook groups and there are things that crop up that people do that I am like, really? Is that really necessary? And yet because everyone seems to be doing them, I am also sitting there thinking, well should I be doing that as well?

And so, I have compiled a list of the things that keep cropping up that in my opinion, are very lovely, but not wholly necessary if you are trying to cut back on costs!

Proposal boxes

Whatever happened to just asking someone something outright? I mean, two of the times I have been bridesmaid, I was asked over the phone. When I asked my Sister to be a maid of honour, I wrote her a poem, printed it out, and made her read it. And with my nieces, I just asked them if they would like to be my bridesmaids!

But, bridesmaid (and groomsmen) proposal boxes are a real thing. A box full of gifts, a balloon with a secret message inside, a cake with a message. Just bloody ask them and save your pennies!

Flip flops

Possibly the one that annoys me the most and one of the ones I see the most. A basket or crate full of cheap flip flops with some kind of sign next to it stating, for your dancing feet. They feature at the reception and the idea is that people can take their heels off and dance the night away in flip flops.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t find dancing in flip flops very easy to do at all. And the flip flops involved are ALWAYS the 99p ones from Primark. So they are really plasticky (is that even a word?), and have that bit that goes in between your toes and likes to rub. I mean that is just not comfortable. Whatever happened to simply throwing your shoes off, dancing bare feet, and then spending the following morning trying to scrub the dirt off your feet?

Apparently everyone always says that the flip flops go down a treat, but my opinion is that guests can either take their shoes off and dance the night away, or take a pair of pumps in their handbag to boogie in!

Tissues

This one gets my goat for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because if I have ever felt like I might need a tissue at a wedding, I have just popped a couple in my handbag. Secondly, because they are usually each inserted into little plastic holders (like a tissue pack) which is not environmentally friendly at all. And thirdly, because they always have a little sticker on the front of them which reads, for your happy tears. Which in my opinion is being assumptive that everyone is going to be overly emotional at your wedding. I mean yeah, your Mum, Dad, and immediate family might need them, but I’m not sure the whole ceremony room are going to be in happy tears as you walk down the aisle.

Favours

In years gone by, it was always a little organza bag filled with sugar almonds. Nowadays people do all sorts of things that don’t get taken home! We have favours as part of something we have booked, which is fab. And I am thinking about doing a little something else if I can be bothered. But honestly, it is a part of the budget you can easily cut out. No-one, I can tell you no-one is going to sit at that dinner table, look at the person next to them and say, “Oh my goodness, they haven’t done favours”.

Confetti

Now this one I am kind of torn in two with and it could be that I do actually decide to do this one, but let’s talk about confetti. Because back in the day, when I was invited to weddings, I took my own confetti. I popped to the shop, grabbed a little box, and threw it when required. And if the bride and groom are getting married in a registry office, they sell it there anyway. But another popular one I see, is bride and grooms supplying confetti. Some of them even make it themselves, drying out flowers and leaves, breaking them up (or hole-punching them), and popping them in cones or little organza bags for people to help themselves to. I mean yes, they are beautifully presented and you can then guarantee that you will have that post ceremony confetti shot (which is why I am tempted), but I don’t think it is necessary to supply it for everyone!

Bridesmaid boxes

I have been a bridesmaid three times. I have a maid of honour and two young bridesmaids myself. They are going to get little gifts, which will no doubt be their jewellery to wear on the day (as was always the case with me). But these days, bridesmaid boxes are a very popular thing. They might contain a personalised robe, a personalised champagne flute, a candle, and other little bits. I get that it is a really nice way to say thank you, however, most bride and grooms will already have no doubt spent a fortune on their dresses and shoes and hair pieces, and jewellery, and whatever else! So to then do a bridesmaid box which could cost between £15-20 per bridesmaid, seems a bit excessive really.

I do get that the photos of them all in their robes drinking a glass of sparkling wine out of their champagne flute is lovely, but is it really necessary? I don’t think so!

Blankets

Similar to the flip flops, these are presented in a cute box with a little message on them telling guests to help themselves if they get a bit chilly. Of course they look gorgeous, but it’s another something that has cost money that didn’t need to be spent. I mean people just take a cardi or a shawl with them for the evening right?!

Of course, these thoughts really are just my own. Don’t take any offence if you have done/are doing any of these things for your wedding. Equally, if it feels like you are seeing the world and their future wives doing them, don’t feel pressured into doing them yourself if you don’t want to. Nobody will care whether you have provided uncomfortable flip flops to dance in, no one will care if you pick up the phone and ask someone to be bridesmaid, and I am sure people will know to bring their own confetti along with them!