Working mums – Babi a Fi – Mummascribbles

As a working mum, some days I find it extremely difficult while on others it’s nice to be able to sit and have a hot cup of tea without having to wipe a nose or change a nappy! I know there are a heck of a lot of working mums out there, some love it, some hate it, others are somewhere in the middle. I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how others feel about being a working mum and maybe we can all learn a little something about dealing with that dreaded mummy guilt!

Today I have Jessica from Babi a Fi answering all those working mummy questions.

Tell me a little bit about who is in your family
There’s me, Anthony, and our daughter, Marianna.

What age were your children when you returned to work?
Marianna had just turned two months.

Did you return to a job away from the home or within the home?
A bit of both! I’m an elected county councillor so some things, like dealing with complaints about bin collection and the like, can be done from home, but mostly it’s about committee meetings at the civic centre, local schools, and so on.

Did you choose to return or did your circumstances force you back?
I always planned to go back fairly early, but my hand was definitely forced. My partner lost his job when Marianna was two weeks old – before she had even been discharged from hospital – so it was a case of getting back to work as soon as I was fully up and about again. (Marianna’s dramatic arrival disabused me of any silly notions I’d had about c-sections being the ‘easy’ option…)

Did you return to work full or part time?
Part time. My hours differ from week to week, depending what’s on, but I generally do about three days and three evenings.

What childcare do you have in place and how did you go about choosing it?
Since Anthony was suddenly blessed with a lot of free time, he ended up becoming a stay at home dad. If he’s not available, we’re lucky that my mum lives around the corner and can babysit, or I take Marianna with me if I can get away with it.

What do you find the most difficult about being a working mum?
Not being the one she turns to first. Because Anthony is home with her all the time, he’s always her first choice for just about everything. Other than that, it’s just missing out on things. Some days I’m out before she wakes up and not back until after she’s in bed, and I find that hard to deal with.

How do you deal with the working mummy guilt?
It’s been a big eye opener for me to realise that I can provide and budget for all three of us – when I’m having down days I try to focus on that. Also, I get a bit insufferable and make lists for Anthony of what Marianna should be eating / watching / doing while I’m out. They’re completely ignored, I’m sure, but they make me feel better!

How did you feel when it was time to go back to work?
Much more upset than I expected. I picked a few arguments with Anthony and eventually burst into tears, explaining that I didn’t want to leave the baby. I was okay once I actually got back to work though, it was nice to have adult conversations without the lingering scent of dirty nappies and baby sick. Unless it was lingering on me, of course.

Is your work/life balance what you want it to be or would you rather work less or more?
I enjoy my job but sometimes find it stressful trying to get to all the ‘extras’ associated with the role (charity boards, political meetings, community events, etc). I think there is probably a reason why most councillors are retired men! I like that I can bring Marianna along to a lot of them though, and that she’s getting to meet lots of different people and experience new things.

What advice would you give to a mummy heading back to work?
It’s easier said than done, but try not to worry! If you can, pop in for an hour or two to catch up with colleagues and generally refamiliarise yourself with the environment. It doesn’t seem quite so daunting that way.

Jessica, thank you for such a fab insight into your role as a working mum. It seems like even within your part time hours that it can be quite hectic so well done on balancing everything out. It’s fab that your little girl gets to stay home with Daddy although I do totally get the bit about not being the first person your daughter goes to – Zach spends so much time with my mum that he is exactly the same with her if she is in our company and I have always found that quite hard. Going back after 2 months must have been so hard, especailly after a csection (I had one too!) but hats off to you coping with it so well.

Along with her blog Babi a Fi, you can find Jessica on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

I’ve linked up my post https://mummascribbles.com/interviews/4894/ with #TheList with the lovely @youbabymemummy and @MrandMrsTplus3. Join them at http://www.mrandmrstplusthree.com/the-list-73-2/