Working mums – Mummy BexM – Mummascribbles

As a working mum, some days I find it extremely difficult while on others it’s nice to be able to sit and have a hot cup of tea without having to wipe a nose or change a nappy! I know there are a heck of a lot of working mums out there, some love it, some hate it, others are somewhere in the middle. I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how others feel about being a working mum and maybe we can all learn a little something about dealing with that dreaded mummy guilt!

This week I have Bex from Mummy BexM answering all those working mummy questions.

Tell me a little bit about who is in your family
There’s me – Mummy Bex, my husband – Daddy Luke and our baby – Jake. Jake is 10 months old. We live in Worcestershire.

What age were your children when you returned to work?
Jake was 5 months old the day after he started nursery and I returned to full time work as a Teacher.

Did you return to a job away from the home or within the home?
Away from the home.

Did you choose to return or did your circumstances force you back?
Our financial circumstances forced me back to work. I think I would always work a little, but I would have liked the freedom to decide a) when to return, b) for how many hours and c) to change profession if I’d wanted to.

Did you return to work full or part time?
Full time – I am a full time Secondary English Teacher (11 to 18 year olds).

What childcare do you have in place and how did you go about choosing it?
We have a mixture; Jake does 3 morning sessions every week at a local cooperative childcare nursery. Mondays, Fridays and the 3 afternoons are split between Nanny and Daddy – until I finish work. Both my mum and husband work shifts.

What do you find the most difficult about being a working mum?
I struggle leaving him and I hate that I am missing out on things. I also sometimes find it difficult to keep Jake in a routine for sleep – which means some days he has more than he needs and others barely 30 min!

How do you deal with the working mummy guilt?
I try not to see it as guilt. I rationalise that if I didn’t work we wouldn’t pay the bills, we wouldn’t be able to buy Jake all his lovely new clothes or toys. I think about the positives and try to ignore the well of guilt. It helps to see him so happy with Nanny and he LOVES nursery – so it isn’t too bad to leave him now he enjoys it.

How did you feel when it was time to go back to work?
Honestly? Devastated. I was utterly broken for at least 3 or 4 weeks. I cried when I left the house or when I dropped him at nursery. I cried in the evenings when it felt like he didn’t know me or want me – which in hindsight I realise was because he was still little and it was just my insecurities. I worried that he would feel I had abandoned him. I worried that something might happen to him. It was pretty awful.

Is your work/life balance what you want it to be or would you rather work less or more?
Right now – the balance is great. The summer term allows things to slow down in teaching and I am coping well. I know that September onwards will be another story. I have a new position, in a new school. It will be incredibly tough in the autumn.

What advice would you give to a mummy heading back to work?
This is tricky. I think the best advice I can give you is to find a routine. Get up and get ready the same time. Have everything prepared the night before. Enjoy the time you have with them in the morning and evening and save jobs/ chores for when they’re in bed. Stick to a bed time and a bed routine. Enjoy the money – where you can – spending it on your little one or on family things as well as bills. See them enjoy the child care provision – whatever it is – make time to stay and see how they are.

Bex, thank you so much for giving us an insight into your experiences as a working mum. There were moments while reading that, that my heart was breaking for you. Despite leaving our children being just horrible, I do agree with you that seeing them with other family members and happy at nursery does make everything a little easier. Zach absolutely adores his nannie and I love that he has that social time at nursery too. It’s great that you are in a job that gives you a long period off over the summer but going back must always be hard. I struggle just after Christmas. I hope that your transition into your new job has gone well.

Along with her blog Mummy BexM, you can find Bex over on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.