Mummascribbles – The struggle that is parenting! – Mummascribbles

I think it’s safe to say that the other half and I are somewhat struggling parents right now. If there is one thing I am within this blog, it is brutally honest. I could write post after post on what a wonderful child I have, how clever and funny and beautiful he is and of course, he is ALL of those things. He is also, like most children approaching the age of four, a ruddy nightmare and there are times over the weekends that we get to spend together that I am finding it incredibly draining. So draining in fact that I genuinely wonder how the bloody hell I am going to cope when baby comes along.

He is not like this all of the time. There are times when he is just wonderful, times when I look at him and my heart wants to burst open at this little human that is exploring the world and who I love so much, he comes before everything in my world.

Then there are those moments when he is just downright frustrating. It’s not even like he is being really naughty, by god this boy could be so much worse. He is however pushing every single one of our buttons.

I read a really wonderful post written by Vicky from Single Mother Ahoy in which she spoke about gentle parenting and genuinely it really made me think about my parenting towards Zach and how maybe I could do better in dealing with certain moments. But then those moments come along and it is just impossible.

It is just impossible when we are trying to get him dressed and he is messing around and running away, doing anything he can to put off getting into clothes. And then at the end of the day, we have the same thing when trying to get him in his pyjamas.

It feels impossible when we are trying to get him to brush his teeth morning and night. When he is pulling away, jumping up and down and doing a really measly attempt on his own teeth. We always let him brush his own teeth but in order to make sure that a good job has been done, we do the last bit, going around every bit of his mouth to ensure they are clean. His reluctance though makes this into a massive battle and the worst thing is he just doesn’t care.

It feels impossible when you tell him not to do something and he ignores you, continuing to do it despite repeats of Zach please stop without any acknowledgement or end to whatever it is he shouldn’t be doing. In that moment, he just simply wants to do what he wants to do and will not listen to your pleas.

It just feels absolutely impossible to do gentle parenting with him because he just doesn’t respond to it. And at the same time, I absolutely hate having to moan or shout at him or threaten him with the naughty seat. I feel like a horrible parent and I know the other half does too.

Last weekend, it all came to a bit of a head. Zach was being a nightmare, laying on the sofa whilst I was trying to get him to do something (I can’t even remember what it was!), to which his continued response was no. No, no, no, no, no, with a face on him that I just knew he was doing it on purpose to make me burst. Then the other half came in and I asked him a question which was quite a simple question taken completely the wrong way and he snapped at me, I snapped at him and I told the pair of them I was sick of it and to just leave me alone. And then, it took every ounce of strength not to cry. I was crying inside but I’d just done my make up so refused to let it out. I don’t know, maybe seeing me upset would have made Zach think about how far he had pushed me with his inability to listen. But at that moment, I just didn’t want either of them to see my tears. I almost took myself upstairs for some time out but I knew I’d cry and I didn’t want my mascara to run! Instead I breathed through it and got on with the day.

It is so hard to remember that for Zach, this is all about seeing what he can and can’t get away with. It’s hard to remember that the other half is just as frustrated with it all and it’s hard to remember not to snap at each other through the tough times. Because within this phase, we need to stand strong. And by god the pair of us are being tested to the limits right now.

And then there are those moments when we feel guilty. Those moments when Zach is being a beautiful human being. When on Saturday afternoon he sat like an angel in the hairdressers chair whilst the little boy next to him was screaming his head off. And when on Sunday afternoon, in the presence of others, he was the most polite little boy that you could ever wish for. All of the bad moments are always outweighed by the good. But when the bad moments happen, they are often the hardest to forget about.

So whilst I did love the post that was written about gentle parenting, I think we have two very different children. And whilst I would love to say that from now on, I will try and be that gentle parent – where we are now with Zach, I just don’t think that’s going to happen, no matter how hard I try.

So parents, help me out. I can’t be alone in this and I would love to know how you deal with non listeners. How you deal with children that are pushing all of your buttons and really spoiling the precious time you get to spend with them. Send me over your hints and tips!!

I’ve been nominated for ‘working parent blogger of the year’ at the mumandworking awards. If you’d like to vote for me just click on the image below to take you to the voting form!