The emotions are getting too much right now! – Mummascribbles

I can’t cope. My emotions are on edge. Every little thing to do with my kids is leading me to have tears forming in my eyes. There is just so much going on with them that makes me proud, makes my heart burst, or just leaves me feeling emotionally unstable. I mean, they like to balance it out with moments where I’m tearing my hair out, but it’s that time of year when everything is changing.

First up, Oscar is starting school in September. SCHOOL. I swear I only just gave birth to him, and come September I’ll be waving him off into his teacher’s care. Don’t get me wrong, he goes to nursery four hours a day, four times a week, but I am so going to miss him when he is out of the house longer, and I’m especially going to miss his Fridays at home with me!

I received a booklet the other day from school with lots of photos and bits of information to show him, to help him get used to where he’s going and what’s going to be there since he can’t properly visit beforehand, and reading it, I was nearly sobbing! Especially seeing the dining hall for some reason. I just pictured him there with all his little friends – no doubt refusing all the meals because he’s a fussy little pickle! He was so excited to see it all though, and he is so excited to start!

To balance it out a bit, I am excited about the prospect of growing my VA business when I have more child-free time. It has gotten quite busy recently, but I am always conscious about how many clients I can take on because of my limited hours. So whilst I am sad about Oscar, I am excited too, which just makes for interesting emotive episodes – mostly guilt!

Speaking of nursery, that was one other part that has made me emosh today. When I dropped him off this morning, I was handed his development book, only small because he hasn’t been going there for long, but full of photos of him having fun and learning. Full of bits of information on what he’s said, what he’s done and how he acted. And when I read the following, I was just so over the moon with what a beautiful little boy I have created…

Oscar was using the bat and beanbag next to another child who was not sure what to do. He explained and demonstrated how to flick it forward and identified the numbers 1-5 for her. He persevered with his ‘lesson’ until the other child was successful and then praised her. Oscar continued to encourage her for the next 15 minutes.

He also came out with a letter to say that they are finishing a day early in line with the schools, but that on the Friday, he is invited to a leavers party with all the children who are going up to reception and will be playing party games, eating party food, and dancing. And I just imagined him there, having oodles of fun, celebrating the end of nursery with his little friends (not all are going to his school), and then once again I was like, oh god. My baby is going to school!

Because he is my baby. My smallest boy. I won’t have any babies at home anymore!

And then there is Zach. My Zach. God he is trying at the moment. Almost 9, hormones and emotions raging, but equally an absolute delight. And today I got his school report through and I just couldn’t be any prouder of him. He only started at that school when they all reopened back in March. He settled in instantly and when we had parents evening (on Zoom), his teachers said it was like he had always been there. Such a huge change for him that he just took, dealt with, and totally rocked! So to then read a beautiful school report was just wonderful. Yes there are improvements he needs to make, things he needs to focus on, but he is meeting expectations in all subjects, and is exceeding expected standard in Science and History. I couldn’t ask for more. And to top it off, what they said about him just renewed my thoughts of what a beautiful little human he is:

Zach has been wonderful to teach as he is so responsive to new knowledge and thrives on gaining insight into the natural world, historic events, and personalities. His ability to think deeply and naturally question interpretations, enables him to formulate his own ideas and recall knowledge with ease. He is motivated and responsive so is an eager learner. He has a gentle and kind personality and is a fantastic friend. Equally, he works really well in a group demonstrating lovely listening skills and a responsive manner in discussions. We wish Zach every success in Year 4 and beyond and hope he never loses his insatiable appetite for knowledge.

To hear those words from two teachers who have only known him for four months felt really incredible.

Oh and then YEAR 4. How is he going into Year 4? Seriously. Why are my children growing up so fast.

So that’s it. With the emotions of Oscar coming to the end of nursery and starting school, Zach moving into Year 4, and me realising I’m not screwing up completely and am actually raising two beautiful human beings, really leaves me feeling all over the place! Even though they are completely different children at home!

Do you have a child going into Reception in September? How are you feeling about it?